I don't know what others

I don't know what others are doing today, but last night I decided to go through my inbox and reread the many letters that I received from the ones I love. What I found was more real, and raw to me than anything else.

The following excerpts are from September 11, 2001 and the days that followed.

---

"I haven't been able to get through to her either, but will continue to try"

---

"Thanks. Yes, I got an e-mail too. He sounds shaken. All's well here."

---

" Take care of yourselves today. breathe and pray. pray and breathe. I won't apologize for being dramatic. This is a horrific day."

---

"I hope that all those close to you are safe. I hope no one we know was on that plane headed for San Francisco."

---

"Maybe it's as simple as stepping outside into the daylight to look around and take it all in, really look at the trees and the houses and the people and reassure yourself it's all still there and still functional and the world is still spinning, more or less, though sadly hobbled, somehow that much more ethereal and strange, that much more fragile than before."

---

"I feel forever changed. I feel horrified and sick. I feel deeply sad. I could cry any second. I could lay down and sleep and not move for a while. Lots of emotions are swirling. What is missing from my emotions is anger. I am not angry - at least not yet. Horror and disbelief are still holding court in my head"

---

"how can they can look in the face of that beautiful little girl and give her a reason why it is okay to use her body to kill other innocent people...why she must die for THEIR cause...why what THEY want is far more important than what she wants...why THEY have the right to make that decision...why THEY have the right to decide who lives and who dies...why THEY are now GOD..."

---

"chaotic times are here. we can not change the fact that chaos is present, but we have a choice how we want to react to chaos. lots of love to you both "

---

"I was due to leave for Italy this monring...well...as you can see I am home and I think I will cancel my flight.."

---

"So, he's now stuck back there, but is OK, and will continue to be so as long as his Lorazipan holds out."

---

"I miss you both, I love you, I'm terrified and sad, and I wish I were there in the United States right now and we were all together and that I could hold you (and that you could hold me). As it is, I am safely in London. I am due to return to San Francisco on Sunday (again, terrified)."

---

"We've been spending as much time w/friends as possible...M sent his office home and went home to cook a big pot of risotto...by the time we left there were probably 15 ro 20 of us, eating warm soft food, drinking good wine, playing w/baby and just being together... we miss you both terribly...xxoo"

---

"A bunch of us got together at our place to smoke two packets of cigs each, sip wine and beer, graze on potluck, and talk and talk. It was what everyone wanted and needed to do."

---

"I can not let go the sadness. My heart is so heavy. I bought a flag yesterday. Not sure why, but I did. It's hanging from the garage today. A small gesture of solidarity and unity - new found patriotism. Somehow reaching out to others who, as I do, need to know that we are not alone, we are one people. I've wept. I've stared at the sky in disbelief. I can not find answers. Everything seems so surreal."

---

"I'm going to 2 memorials this weekend...trying to cope through it all. I have no words."

---

"We'll go forward from this moment sobered, chastened, sad. But determined, too. Unimaginably determined."

---

"Last night at our friends house, people were drinking, laughing, telling stories, trying to forget, doing whatever it took to just get away from it for a while. I couldn't stand it. I had to get up and walk away."

---

 

Posted by MJ at September 11, 2002 06:19 AM