May 28, 2003

4 months of finding shade

It's hot. Motherfucking 114º hot. Someone tell me again why, of all the beautiful places on this earth, I've chosen the devils anteroom? In 10 minutes I have venture out onto the surface of the sun and attempt to operate a vehicle that's been baking in the driveway all day. Where the hell did I put those oven mitts?

I can't wait for Friday. I'm off to the beautiful Great Lakes for 10 days. It's only 78º there. Hell that's practically sweater weather!

In honor of our first 110+ day, an oldie but a goodie...

You know it's summer in the desert when:

-- Your car overheats in the driveway
-- Someone wearing oven mitts while driving is clever
-- A swamp cooler is not a happy hour cocktail
-- Vehicles with open windows automatically have the right of way
-- You discover that it only takes two fingers to drive your car
-- The pool is warmer than you are
-- You can make sun tea instantly
-- People with black cars or who have black upholstery must be from out-of-state or nuts
-- The best parking place is determined by shade instead of by distance
-- You can finish a Big Gulp in 5 minutes and go back for seconds
-- The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one
-- You burn your hand opening the car door
-- Less than 30 SPF is a joke and you wear it just to go into the Circle K
-- "But its a dry heat" is received with as much enthusiasm as "but she's got a great personality"

Posted by MJ at May 28, 2003 01:46 PM
Comments
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May I remind you of the picture you posted some months back...many of us were buried under several feet of snow, but YOU were swimming, and tan, and beautiful...AND gloating!

It may suck now, but that is what summer vacation is all about! Come on up to the Green Mountains. We max out at about 95 in the peak of summer heat. And, if that is too hot for you, we are surrounded by clean sparkling rivers for your body cooling pleasure.

Jes' lemme know when yer comin' so's I can stock up on bbq products and beer!

Posted by: Cyndi at May 28, 2003 02:04 PM

I heard a little rumor that I will be in town at the same time that you will be in town.

Posted by: Erica at May 28, 2003 02:05 PM

Yes, yes, you are right Cyndi. I was gloating. And I was WRONG to do that. I fully expect that over the next four months, I will hear about it every time I mention how motherfucking sonofabitch goddamnitalltohell hot it is here. At least the evenings are pleasant in the 70's.

Erica, which town? BFE Northern Michigan? Or my secret rendevous in an undisclosed location a couple of states to the left?

Posted by: MJ at May 28, 2003 02:33 PM

Yow, that's hot. Dry heat or no. Makes me glad I live in Buffalo. There's a two week window in August where it might get as high as 95 degrees but it's not that bad. Of course, given my proximity to Lake Erie and Niagara Falls there's LOTS of water around so the area becomes a sauna with the humidex at some ridiculous number.

Posted by: greybird at May 28, 2003 02:55 PM

I thought I felt bad here in Fresno today hitting 105. Hell it is 92 right now and its 9:30pm but now I don't feel as bad. Or perhaps alone. Stay close to the pool and lots of well chilled refreshing beverages of your choice. :)

Posted by: Murphy at May 28, 2003 09:26 PM

I was referring to the undisclosed location a couple of states to the left.

BFE northern Michigan, eh? I'm sorry.

Posted by: Erica at May 28, 2003 10:08 PM

Murphy,

I don't know ya, but I feel for ya...

I grew up in Fresno, well, Clovis to be precise.

I fled to SF ASAP, and have now moved a million miles away from the heat and the strip malls of my home town. What the heck are you doing in Fresno, or, as some of us like to call it, "FresYes"?

Posted by: Cyndi at May 29, 2003 06:50 AM

Oh don't feel sorry for me Erica... It's my Shangri La. I love it up there.

Posted by: MJ at May 29, 2003 10:08 AM

i'm a little slow this week to reading my fav blogs... that said, don't you ever FUCKING complain about the weather again. It's June, and it's been in the 50s in CT. And it rained every single motherf*cking day in May.

June. 50s. 31 days of rain. So shut up.

And I say that with all the love in my cold, damp, moldy heart. :)

Posted by: LA at June 2, 2003 07:06 PM

Ha! Makes me remember why I don't miss Texas.

Posted by: Texasyankee at June 4, 2003 07:36 PM

Hey Laura - c'mon out - I gotta frying pan with your name on it! But because I'm a considerate sadist, I'll follow up with a frosty Corona... with lime ;)

Posted by: MJ at June 4, 2003 07:51 PM