Saturday Night Report

Went to a great cocktail party. It was a refreshing eclectic mix of people. Many of whom I had not met before. And of course there were a ton of people I knew but had not seen in a while. I had a really good time despite my previous nights over indulgence.

There was also a woman there I've only come to know recently. She's witty, engaging and uniquely beautiful. Not Hollywood beautiful, but stunning nonetheless. Maybe it was the heavily poured drinks or something in the warm evening air, but I sensed a come-on vibe from her that was totally new to me. She seemed overly enthusiastic to greet me with a hug. And her kiss on my cheek lingered just a second longer that it should have. And at least three times I got "the look" from across the patio. Mmm Hmm. You know what I am talking about.

While I am usually never one to turn down a flirtatious situation with a beautiful woman, I had to laugh, because here's the thing... I'm short. Not oompa loompa short (shaddup) but definitely shorter than most at 5'3". This woman is easily a foot taller than me, at over 6'. Her giving me a hug and kiss was a kin to an eager Aunt swooping in on a 2 year old. I was waiting for her to pinch my cheeks and tell me how I'd grown since she last saw me.

I didn't return the flirtations, not just because she's oh-so-straight and well, been there, but even if I wanted to, how would I go about it? It's hard to be smooth with the zippo when you have to give a little hop up to light her smoke. And how does one gaze intently when you have to crane your neck skyward? How does one make a move when the moment might arrive for a kiss? Impossible. Not to mention sex... How the hell would THAT work? I have this vision of a miniature schnauzer trying to get up on a greyhound. I'm not sure the end result would be worth the physical effort required.

Entertaining thoughts nonetheless. And next time I know we are going to be at the same party, who knows, maybe I'll bring a step ladder.