2/25/99

This weeks Fish Wrap has a little something for everyone!

As always, if you would like to be removed from the mailing list - just drop me a line!

Have a great weekend all! - MJ

You Know You're Working in Corporate America When ....
* You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
* Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
* Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
* The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.
* When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
* You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
* You learn about the merger on CNN.
* Your biggest concern about a system crash is that you could lose your best jokes.
* Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
* Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
* You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
* It's dark when you drive to and from work.
* Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
* "Communication" is something your group is having problems with.
* Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
* Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
* Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
* Art involves a white board.
* You're already late on the assignment you just got.
* You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say, "Oh wow, thanks!"
* Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."
* Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.
* Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
* Change is the norm.
* Nepotism is encouraged.
* You read this entire list and understood it.


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When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
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From the SF Files:
The new traffic cameras installed South of Market to catch red light runners recently nabbed a San Francisco driver. He received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a copy of the photo of his car - obviously running the red light. Thinking he was being clever, instead of payment, he sent the Dept. of Parking and Traffic a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the SFPD that contained another picture... of handcuffs. The motorist promptly paid the fine.


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Did you hear about the three blondes who were driving to Disneyland? After being in the car for hours, they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" so they turned around and went home.

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Q: If three Dallas Cowboys are seen riding in a car, who's driving?
A: The sheriff's deputy.
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Quotable Quotes:
"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't rememberwhat they are."
-- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-- Presidential Canidate - Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle


Fun Facts:
* No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.
* The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.
* A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time; 1/100th of a second.
* The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
* An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.