August 06, 2003
Ages 8 and Up
I'm a sucker for dumb toys. Even as a kid, I had to have them. I begged my mother every time we went to the store for some 50¢ piece of crap. Stupid little things that no one in their right mind would justify spending even a paltry 50¢ on. Every once in a while she would treat me. And inevitably I would break it before the day was out.
So the other day I am at the grocery store and I took a quick spin down the toy aisle and there it was. I wasn't sure what it was, but I had to have it. It's a squishy fluid filled rubber thingie with alien spoke nubs and a long rubber string thing with a loop at the end to attach to your finger. Inside the fluid was some kind of hard ball that lit up when you hit it against something. I HAD TO HAVE IT!
It took me a good 5 minutes of trying out the various colors before choosing the lime snot green one. I couldn't wait to get home and show the missus!
Of course she feigned interest for about 30 seconds to humor me and then said "okay - well have fun honey!" And I did!
Schwing! Flop! Blinky Blink!
Schwing! Flop! Blinky Blink!
Schwing! Flop! Blinky Blink!
Schwing! Flop! Uh-oh.
What was that? My hand's wet. Is that fluid seeping out? Eewww. Wait a minute - that's kinda cool!
Schwing! Flop! Squirt! Blinky Blink!
And then the missus found me. "Did you break it already? Get that out of here! It's probably toxic! "
Squirt! "Is not."
"Is so! Get it out of here!"
With head hung low... I went out to the patio and continued, though slightly less enthusiastically, with me Schwing! Flop! Squirt! Blinky Blink! $1.99 piece of crap. Less than an hour I had owned this thing and I'd already broken it!
Once I had squirted most of the "fluid" out, I decided to deconstruct it. I got a knife and carved out the electronic Blinky Blink inside. I now carry the small round plastic blink ball around in my pocket and every once in a while I'll give a good thwack and it will blink for me. Yippie!
I'm such a dork.
[ed. note: after a little googling I found out what they are. Best of all is that I can buy a box of 12! That outta get me through the weekend! And see? Right there it says "Non-Toxic" - Whew, cuz I wasn't really sure about that!]
Posted by MJ at August 6, 2003 10:17 AMHahaha... The only toys I've played with in recent years that weren't made for adults are those nerf dart shooters, cross bows and other assorted nerf flinging toys. I once worked in a cubicle farm that had regular nerf wars. It was a blast.
Posted by: greybird at August 6, 2003 11:19 AMIs that a blinky blink in your pocket or are you just happy to see me...
Sorry, but *someone* had to say it.
(It's better than my "schwing, flop, squirt, blinky blink" joke, that's for damn sure.)
Posted by: Natalie at August 6, 2003 11:43 AMI have the same toy! I went for blue. In my bedroom on the nightstand sets a hard plastic ball that lights up when I shake and/or toss it.
After two days o' fun I started getting squirted with said fluid (I too hoped it wasn't toxic). At first I thought it was kind of cool.. that is until all the fluid was gone and I had a floppy plastic that no longer yo-yo'ed like I wanted it too. Poked it with a pen, tore off the outer cover and whala! I now have my favorite light up toy.......
"Paltry" in a sentence. :)
Posted by: MJ(H) at August 6, 2003 05:42 PMYou are truly excellent. Until this afternoon I thought I was the Only Gadget Girl In The World. I don't have a Schwing!Flop!Blinkyblink! but I do have a coaster that lights up when you put a drink on it - not so cool with very opaque mugs of tea, but pretty with gin&tonic.
Posted by: fg at August 7, 2003 12:09 AMof COURSE it would be called a Hedge Hog Meteoric Yo Yo Water Ball. I mean, what else would you call it, really?
Posted by: irish-girl at August 7, 2003 09:53 PMBlinky blink... sounds like too much fun! At least you can bring things like that home and play with them... I get rolling of eyes and sighing of heavy sighs.
I'm living vicariously through you with regard to our immature toy fascination...
Posted by: Chari at August 8, 2003 10:06 AMOn my flight today from Boston back to San Francisco I became best friends with the five year old girl sitting (well, hanging over) in the seat in front of me. She introduced me to the delights of the Hedge Hog. Does the fact that both you and Kim enjoy this toy mean that my little five year old friend is destined for a sapphic future? I can only hope.
Posted by: jadedju at August 13, 2003 10:28 PMJJ - It does have has a certain femine tactile nature to it. And anything that lights up like that when touched the right way... well, I'm just sayin' ;)
Posted by: MJ at August 14, 2003 10:05 AM
