November 25, 2003

Meet My Cat, Santa

A while back I mentioned the severe case of hives I had (I know, enough with the friggin' hives already) and that the Doc had told me they were stress related. I can say for certain that they were not. Why am I so sure? Because if they were stress related, I'd once again be fucking covered head to toe right about now.

The Facts:

- Our two house guests and their dog arrived last night. Our bed did not. We had to sleep on the floor.

- Our bed is still not here. We will probably be sleeping on the floor again tonight.

- While the dog is the sweetest boy in the whole wide world and I love him to pieces, he's blind and deaf and walks into things. We have a plate glass wall and sharp furniture.

- The cats have completely flipped out having the dog around. Witness the fact that one is currently up the chimney and won't come down.

- When the cat does comes down at 4:00am, she will undoubtedly head straight for the white sofa.

- Two other cats are MIA. Perhaps they are with their friend up the chimney.

- We are hosting dinner for 6 on Thursday. We only have two chairs.

- Two of the six guests are suddenly single with achy breaky hearts.

- One is a vegetarian and I'm cooking turkey with sausage stuffing. Here, have a roll or something.

- A client called this morning and told me she absolutely hates the work I did. Start anew. Deadline is tomorrow.

- I barely made Fed Ex this afternoon. Think slow motion running while screaming "wwwaaait!"

In conclusion...

Stress? Check. Hives? Nope. Fucking doctors - what do they know.

Posted by MJ at November 25, 2003 05:14 PM
Comments
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Stressful?

Naaaah! Couldn't be with everything going so smoothly!!!

Posted by: :: jozjozjoz :: at November 25, 2003 05:28 PM

You've probably just outstressed the hives. They're scared of you now.

Posted by: Solonor at November 25, 2003 05:46 PM

What stress? Why when I was a youngster ... naaa ... you're right -- your life is a freaking heart attack waiting to happen.

Sucks. Hope it gets better. Good luck.

Happy Thanksgiving ... if you make it until Thursday.

Posted by: Mopsie at November 25, 2003 07:59 PM

You need to move far away and not tell anyone where you are. Until you are ready. Then when things get hairy, move again.

Good vibes heading your way.

Posted by: Vicki at November 25, 2003 08:20 PM

Wait...hang on...why the ever loving fuck would you need a fireplace? I bet that puppy is spic and span.

Shut up and quitcher whining, would ya? Some folks have real problems! If you don't have enough seats then get your ass to Menards and grab some plastic shit.

Hell, worked for me and you didn't judge me on it. Or so I think...

Posted by: picklejuice at November 25, 2003 10:30 PM

Natalie, why would say such a thing? The fireplace is there due to the horrendous 55 degree weather they were suffering at 05:00 this morning. I'd have that baby roasting the cat if I were there.

Posted by: Andy at November 26, 2003 04:58 AM

Once again, bitch & moan, bitch & moan...

You apparently forgot what corporate life is like!!! Substitute a vice president for one of the missing cats, a Controller who takes extra long lunches and isn't answering his mobile phone, the Japanese contingent with a 2pm appointment shows up at 1100 and is now in the lobby waiting for you, and a copier which decides to wait for you to approach it to copy the presentation for the Japanese to start flashing J1 (what the fuck is J1, and why does that particular cartridege get used faster than anything else). Then you have a typical day in my world!!! Don't sweat the small stuff, guests are like small children...very resilient.

Happy Thanksgiving!! Gobble Gobble

Posted by: MJS at November 26, 2003 08:00 AM

Quick update: The cat has left the chimney and was seen heading south towards Mexico to pick up some Kitty Valium cheap! OK - maybe not heading to Mexico but this houseguest heard a hungry cat eating the big sized kibble (aka dog food) at about 2am. YAY!

On the bed front - it came, we had power tools...all is good...

Now if the rest of the week could be a touch smoother we'll be outta hive territory... I HOPE!!

Posted by: staz at November 26, 2003 08:29 AM