Weekend Report:

Friday Night: Being a lesbian with power tools I am often summoned in cases of extreme pot rack emergencies. I assisted Uh-oh Him in what mercifully turned out to be just a mild case of "I need to put the thingy up here, but I don't have a whatchamcallit". I am always glad to be of service and thank god I was around or there might tragically be a gay man sans pot rack. We can't have that! As payment I received the usual, a stiff drink.

We headed over to Toucans and then opted for dinner at the newly opened Hamburger Mary's with Itchyrae. The place was PACKED as it has from the day she opened her doors. It's nice to see this joint succeed. We've desperately needed a queer friendly casual burger joint in this town.

Saturday Report: I woke up rather early to the complete horror that we were ::gasp:: out of coffee!!!. Nothing can ruin this girls perfectly good Saturday Morning like having to somehow gather my wits, operate heavy machinery and actually interact with other human beings before 7:00 am.

The store was totally empty except for the truly strange (Honestly?! Who does their weekly shopping at 7:00 on a Saturday? Never mind - I'm sure there's a logical explanation). I hazily stumbled the aisles until I found the coffee. In a brilliant marketing ploy, at the end of the coffee aisle they've cleverly placed the Krispy Creme donut display. Blame in on the lack of caffeine, but I was powerless in their presence. As Homer Simpson would say.. "mmm, donuts." So I picked a few up and headed for the check out.

In a cruel twist of fate, only one of the 240 registers was open. And it was the register furthest from the door. I jokingly mention this particular irony to the all too chipper woman at the register (trying to be witty but of course, just sounding like an idiot..) And you know what she says to me?!?

"Well, if you're going to buy the donuts, the extra walk couldn't hurt ya! Hahahah"

The nerve! Grumble grumble... She's lucky I didn't reach across her little conveyor and rip her to shreds! I went home, made coffee, had two donuts and in order to exact my revenge and burn as few calories as possible, I went back to bed and didn't get up until 2:00pm.

Around 7:00 the Missus went out with some friends, but I opted to stay home. I took a wonderful long hot spa shower around 8:00 and curled up with my book and was asleep by 9:00. Now that's a Saturday my friends.

Sunday Report: Went to the Covina Ikea with my partners in crime Uh-oh and Itchy. Spent way too much money on what must be close to 10,000 tea lights, a folding table, some brilliant storage things (bins? boxes? cloth covered cardboard containers with zippers?) and a glass top for my desk.

The guys had bought too much stuff as well and when we went to load the car, we discovered that there was no way in hell it was all going to fit... Never to be thwarted, and in the finest of Beverly Hillbillies style, we strapped the glass top and an oversized picture frame to the roof of Itchyrae's new used Jaguar. When we hit a bump and heard a distinct clunk on the ride home I was sure the friggin thing had broken into several pieces, but all was fine. Now, if I could only decide what I am going to put in my new storage thingies... I know - tealights!

God I love Ikea - The only place you unconsciously buy things you don't need, but consciously buy the things to store the things you don't need! Those damn Swedes - they know what they're doing!