Weekend Report:

I've been sitting here trying to figure out a way to sum up everything that happened in SF. I can't. So you are going to get the blow by blow version. It's a long one, so get your beverage of choice and settle in...

Friday Night Report:
After putting in a full day on the house remodel, we were just getting ready to kick back for the night when I checked the messages. Our best friends, Staz (who I've known for ages and was my best babe at my wedding 9 years ago) and The Engineer had done it. They went to Tiffany, bought the rings and were married at City Hall. We screamed. Ten (give or take ;) years they have been together and they are an amazing couple. We were so happy for them. WooHoo! We toasted our friends even though we couldn't be there in person we were there in spirit!

Saturday Night Report:
Valentines Day - the missus and I don't do a big thing for V-day. Kisses and a little affirmation is all we need. But she did totally surprise me by cooking dinner (let's just say her favorite recipe is toast so I was pretty impressed). We had just finished dinner when the Engineer called and again tried to convince us to make the trip up to SF.

The missus and I talked about it again and decided that despite everything that was going on here at home, the house remodel, etc. we had to do it. This was history in the making and we've worked so hard for marriage rights, we couldn't let this opportunity slide.

A little background here: She and I have been together for over 12 years. In 1995 she and I had our wedding - a rather large affair - in SF. Over 150 people were there to celebrate, my mother walked me down the aisle, her father walked her. The missus wore my mothers wedding dress. - it was our dream wedding. So as far as we are concerned - we've BEEN married for almost 9 years now. This going up to SF bit was an act of civil disobedience. It wasn't really "tying the knot" - it was definitely a civil action. At least that's how I was approaching it Saturday night.

So around 9:00PM I went online and booked tickets on the Alaska 7AM flight to SF with a return on Monday at 7AM. We only packed an itty bitty bag - what did we need really? We were only going to be gone overnight?! Little did we know...

Sunday Report:
5:30AM
The alarm went off and we headed to PSP. The flight was short and the attendants were really great - they gave us a bottle of champagne and wished us a lifetime of happiness. There were only about 12 people on the plane so we took off early and arrived early in SF.

8:00AM
Our friends were still in bed so we snagged a cab back to their house. After some coffee and toast and hearty congrats to my best friends on their marriage, we decided we'd better head down to City hall in case there was a huge line or something. We had no idea that they had turned away hundreds of people the day before.

9:30AM
We arrived to discover a line that wrapped around the entire building. We jumped on the end of the line and figured we would be there for most of the day but certainly we would be clinking glasses by supper time... Not so fast....

There was so much misinformation filtering up and down the line. We had no idea what was accurate and what was not. The line was moving - so we just stayed there. Turns out the line was moving because people were giving up and heading home. They came out and made an official announcement that our chances of getting married today were zero to none. They had turned away folks the day before but gave them tickets to come back on Sunday and if you did not have a ticket - you might as well forget about it. We decided to stay and see what happens.

11:30 AM
The line dwindled but easily 300 people were not budging - including us. This became what the City Hall folks dubbed "The Hopeful Overflow Line" queued up for the Van Ness Entrance. If anything changed - if they decided to stay open late or whatever, we would be the first to get in.

It was fairly clear to the missus and I that we were probably not getting married today but the Engineer and Staz were determined to figure out a way to get us hitched. They began scoping out options on the other side of the building -they tried pulling strings with people they knew inside. We sat in line making phone calls, trying to get in touch with folks we knew in town to at least let them know we were there. (My apologies to those of you we didn't get a hold of - but it was a little crazy.)

1:30PM
The announcement was made that the first 50 couples in the hopeful overflow would get in. The cut off was the woman in the yellow hat - Staz and the Engineers friends Maggie and Janet would be the last couple in on Sunday.

No one budged.

We were determined to stay in line. I began joking that this was like Survivor "Outwit, Outlast, Outplay" - We were getting in that fucking building today damn it! Everyone was so determined. We'd already put in 5 hours and to walk away now seemed like quitting. No way.

All the while we are in line, the stream of honking cars going by seemed endless. Most of them were "Just Married's" waving their pieces of paper. It gave us all hope and reminded us why we were there, but I tell ya, after about 250 of those I was starting to get a little cynical "yeah yeah yeah - I'm happy for ya - congratulations, whatever"

2:30PM
They came out and told us for the 4th time that we were not getting in today and to go home. There would be no camping allowed - don't start lining up because they're not telling us which entrance they'll open in the morning. Any lines forming would be dispersed by the sheriffs. Just go home and come back in the morning - the doors would open at 10:00AM.

No one budged.

By this time, Staz had found where people were queueing up for Monday. No camping you say? Well, until the cops come to disperse the crowd - they were starting to line up at the Polk St. entrance.

3:00PM
They let the first 50 couples in (including Maggie Yellow Hat Babe and her partner Janet!) and locked the doors. We walked around to the Polk St. side where Staz had been all morning and sure enough - there was the line for Monday. We started making plans and debating the whole camping idea.

I admit, the idea of staying out there all night was not the least bit appealing to me. There were a few times during the day that I considered walking away. What I really wanted to do was go have a cocktail with my friends and enjoy what little time we had up there with them. Maybe a nice dinner out or something. It was hard to stay that determined. We had return plane tickets for the morning. We had only left 24hrs of food and water out for the cats. What guarantee do we have that we would even get in tomorrow? None.

4:30PM
It started to drizzle. It became clear that people were setting up camp for the night. Staz had stayed there all day to secure a place so close to the front of the line that I knew we had to stay the night. And by this point I was determined that we were going to fucking get married! I didn't stand out there all day to go home now. No way. Besides - this could be fun! We'll make a party out of it!

I called Alaska and changed our return flight. The Engineer had made a run back to the house for supplies - more chairs, jackets, a deck of cards (poker anyone?) and some umbrellas.

7:00PM
Now was about the time that it hit me... 99.9% of the people who were camping out were DYKES! I was at a loss to find more than one male couple there! As the missus pointed out, had there been a Home Depot around with all these dykes and a little lumber and some duct tape we would have built the most awesome shelters!!

It was still drizzling but not too bad. It was the cold that was getting to me. By this time we had made friends with a lot of folks around us and though I had held it most of the day - I really had to pee and I was starting to get a bit of a headache. About 5 of us made our way over to the Ramada to use the facilities (where they happened to be hosting a Bear (big hairy gay men) Convention - too funny!). On the way back we stopped in at Walgreens to buy some Advil and anything resembling warm blankets. They had just locked the doors but they let us in anyway. Another example of the good will abounding. Supplies in hand we headed back to base camp.

8:30PM
My headache has now turned into what I think must be a migraine. I've never had one before but it was so bad I felt like I was going to vomit. I think that's a migraine...

We began making plans for setting up shifts. Kelly and Hogan arrived, Jennie and Leah were coming down around 9 or 10 - So Staz insisted that the missus and I go back to the house to take a nap, shower etc. while she held down the fort.

When we got back to their house I immediately crawled into their bed and was out like a light.

Monday Report:
12:30AM
I woke up to the sound of pouring rain on the roof. I jumped out of bed, got dressed and insisted that the Engineer take me back downtown. She protested insisting that Staz had everything under control and that we needed a good nights rest for tomorrow but there was no way in hell I was going to let my friends sit all night in the cold and rain so that I could remain warm and dry. The only concession I made was letting the missus stay behind. Being disabled she was much better off at home than on the street. Besides my headache was gone now, I'd just had 3 hours sleep and was ready to relieve my friends.

Before leaving the house we packed up more provisions and I donned 4 layers of jackets and the Engineers motorcycle rain suit... As I'm sure you saw in the pictures, I looked like an inflated pumpkin. But as long as I stayed dry - fuck it, who cares what I look like.

When we arrived it was pouring rain. They had dropped off two Porta-Johns for people (I think the Ramada probably did that because they had enough gayness happening at their hotel - they didn't need a bunch of soggy dykes in the lobby!) Staz was hunkered down under the tarp and there wasn't a whole lot of action - so much for my rousing game of poker idea. Too bad - there was money to be made there!

Kelly and Hogan went home to sleep and shower, they'd be back at 5:30. Leah was snug and asleep in her bivvy further back in the line. Staz refused to go home and stayed with me. God bless her. As an emergency management person - she was in the zone. This was her element. She wasn't going anywhere.

The Engineer adjusted the shelter (very clever use of jumper cables!) to help keep us dry.

2:00AM
Two guys pulled up and brought out two ice chests. One full of hot cocoa and another full of hot oatmeal. I guess they had come by earlier in the evening and were stunned to see what was happening and asked what they could do to help. I don't think these guys had ever eaten oatmeal before. Either that or they were under the impression that the lesbians might bite them if the portions were too small. My god, there was no way in hell I could have eaten the giant bowl they served us. Let's just say that the 8 servings that remained in the bowl made the best damn hand warmer ever!

Another example of love and support: The couple in front of us had a friend come down around 2:30 to relieve them. This sweet straight girl sat in a chair, in the rain, with only an umbrella for 2 hours. I overheard her talking on her cell phone to someone about how she could not believe this is what we had to go through just to get married.

3:00AM
Still pouring and now the wind has picked up. Tarps were being ripped open and shelters began failing. Some folks went to their cars to get dry. At this point - no one was going to be faulted for stepping out of line. Just take care of yourself however you need to.

There was a woman a few camps down from us - totally butch dyke from Sacramento. With a mouth of a truck driver (she reminded my of Susan Hawk on Survivor, but heavier and butcher) she was totally our comic relief. At one point around 4:00AM as a reporter was trying to interview a Texas couple, I heard her scream at the top of her lungs from under her shelter "If I hear one fuckin' straight person say that we're not committed I'm gonna fuckin' slap 'em!" - much laughter and applause. The reporter asked her if she could quote her. "You bet yer ass lady! Go ahead - Quote me!"

Staz and I were starting to seize up under the tarp so we got out and started moving around. It was actually warmer walking around but Staz sacrificed her dryness. Slowly her Pea Coat began to soak through.

5:00AM
Kelly and Hogan come back, showered and rested. The Engineer arrives with more supplies and Staz reluctantly relents to the cold and wetness. She's been there at City Hall for 20 hours straight. What an amazing friend. Not to mention that she and the Engineer had spent many many hours there only 2 days prior waiting for their license! The Engineer took her home and I crawled into Kelly's car for a little break from the wind.

About half an hour later my cell phone rings and it's Staz - apparently our new friends and camp neighbors Hillary and Anna are on the front page of the Chronicle. I ran down to Starbucks, got them two lattes and copy of the paper. They were blown away! We all did a little happy dance for them.

7:00AM
The sky is beginning to lighten and people are starting to stir out of their makeshift camps. People start showing up with huge urns of coffee and endless boxes of Krispy Kremes. I heard someone say to us "You all spent the night in the cold and the rain in order that ensure that no one ever has to do this again!" - I just about lost it.

8:00AM
We're told that they will being letting the first 100 couple inside in about 5 minutes. I call the house and tell the missus to get her ass down here NOW! Even though they wouldn't start processing people until 10:00 who knew if they would let her in later.

9:00AM
That is the goddamn longest 5 minutes I've ever experienced. We're still standing out in the cold and rain waiting - the endless waiting... The missus and the Engineer have arrived, and so has Oddgirl - always a witness, never a bride, sigh.

They finally start letting people in. We're on the steps, about 20 feet from the doors when the missus realizes that she doesn't have her ID or the checkbook. FUCK!! Can you imagine? All that we went though and suddenly we might not be able to go through with it because if a missing ID?!? Fuckity fuck fuck! The Oddgirl jumps in the car and faster than lightning goes back to the house, finds the goods and brings them back to us at City Hall. WHEW!

10:00AM
After snaking around the hidden depths of City Hall, we are in line and waiting for the County Clerks office to open and begin processing paperwork. We've now been at City Hall for over 24 hours. But we're inside. It's warm. There are bathrooms with hot water. All is right in the world.

They hand out numbers and we are couple #27. We were given blue application forms to fill out while we waited. Along with the ever informative booklet title "Your Future Together: health information you should know *Formerly Titled "If there are children in your future". Which provided quite a bit of entertaining reading while we waited.

Here's where I lose track of time...

In the County Clerks office is where they type up the info for the marriage license. We waited a long time. If we were #27, why has #50 already been processed? Apparently they couldn't find our paper work. Granted the place was pure chaos and these people had been processing thousands of applications on their three day weekend - god bless them - but I was ready to get married! Come on! Find it already! They did and of course there were two typos so they had to go back and correct it. Those folks were amazing for being there.

From the County Clerk we went to have the license "solemnized" (I like that word - has that sodomize ring to it... heh.) A volunteer led us into the rotunda and showed us the line to wait for an officiant. The Engineer and Oddgirl were there, The Big D made a surprise appearance. In what was a bit of a whirlwind blur we were led to the steps by a Deputy Marriage Commissioner - one of hundreds that had been sworn in to help out - and we began the ceremony. I completely forgot to give my camera to anyone so no pics - sorry.

Time kind of stopped then. I didn't think I was going to cry, but after everything we had gone through the night before - not to mention everything we've gone through together over the years to bring us to this place - how hard we fought for our rights, all the hard work everyone has done - it overwhelmed me. When she said "By the power vested in me by the State of California" I lost it.

When it was all over we had one more line to wait in - to get a copy of the license.

By this time inside city hall was complete packed. People are everywhere, witnesses, children, videographers. But the volunteers were running things like a well oiled machine. A lot of the volunteers had been married on Thurs and Friday - and they all came back to help out. Amazing.

We finally got our copy of the license and I couldn't believe we had actually done it. It was over. Time to celebrate! We quickly found Kelly and Hogan and their whole family and watched their ceremony. We couldn't find Jennie and Leah - they were probably 80 couples behind us - but they finally came out into the rotunda and asked the missus and I to witness for them. They had the same Deputy Comm. perform their ceremony. As I was signing their license I quipped to the missus, "Now this is the kind of thing you really don't want to fuck up" - Turns out the videographer was taping me - oops!

When we walked out the front doors there were hundreds and hundreds of people there and a loud cheer went up. I thought I would lose it again. Amazing. Simply amazing.

1:00PM
About 10 of us all went to brunch in the Castro. Afterwards, we headed back to the house, took a nap and a shower then headed to SFO to come home. Unfortunately our flight out of SFO was delayed 3 hours, (yup - more waiting... I guess we just hadn't waited long enough) but I didn't care - I just curled up on the seats at the gate and took a nap.

So now we're home. The missus has framed the license. I stare at it in disbelief. As of this writing, we are still legally married in the state of California. Who knows what lies ahead - many court battles I am sure. But we are so blessed to have been a part of this, to have the friends we have, and to witness history being made.

I thank each and every one of you for your warm wishes and your love and support. Staz and The Engineer - you two mean so much to us. I love you. My family. The volunteers and city employees. The Mayor and the City of San Francisco, the guys who brought the frickin' oatmeal. Rich for feeding our cats! You are all my heros.

I'd do it all over again tomorrow if I had to. Here's hoping no one ever has to again.