Line Talkers

You know the kind, in grocery stores, at the bank... they can't just wait quietly, they have to make the chit chat. You might be one too and that's okay, so long as you don't say something STUPID!

Witness the following...

Yesterday, while standing in line at PetSmart, a very loud and sturdy woman in front of us was brandishing a large uh, screw thingy (what are they called? the things you screw into the ground and tie your dog up to? anyway, it was HUGE).

Not content to make it a quiet and normal transaction, she turned around to the missus and said, "I don't really need one this big, he's just a Chihuahua. HA HA HA!"

"So why don't you just use a stapler?" the missus quickly fired back. Everyone within earshot, including the line talker, gave a good chuckle.

Seeing this exchange as her opening for more chit chat, the woman then pointed to the sign asking for donations to help the animal victims of the tsunami. "Help the animals? What's that all about? I heard not a single animal died! They all knew it was coming and headed for the hills."

Yup, I had heard this too. It made sense if you believed the old wives tales about animals having a sixth sense. But not even the keenest animal could have predicted what came out of her mouth next...

"But not the humans. I mean c'mon! How STUPID do you have to be?! HA HA HA! If you see the water receding a mile out, how STUPID do you have to be to just stand there watching it and not know that it's coming back?! C'mon, you saw those videos, they just stood there looking like IDIOTS! I couldn't believe it. People are so stupid..."

I sneaked a few peeks at everyone else just to see if ANYONE dared reply to that one. The cashier went about silently making change. The missus just looked at me slack-jawed. The woman behind us refused to make eye contact opting instead to stare intently into her cart.

What the hell do you say to someone like that? I was speechless...

To break the silence, the woman then continued with "I mean if I saw a bunch of animals running away, I think I'd follow them! Wouldn't you?"

And with that she gave a hearty laugh, took her change and presumably went home to screw her highly intelligent chihuahua to her back yard.