February 10, 2005
Oh, Sweet Irony
So Wife Swap was uh, interesting last night. The premise (Boone Luffey/Gillespie) was to exchange an average middle class lesbian mom with a upper middle class ultra conservative christian mom (did I mention she's a black woman married to a white dude?)
Oh right, Sweeps Week.
At any rate, I found the christian woman to be... not so christian. The amount of hate and anger that came from her was incredible, yet not surprising, at least to this lesbian. That hateful, holier than thou posturing is what many of us see everyday in the op-ed pages of our local newspapers, on right-wingnut blogs, on FoxNews. It's not new to me. And I guess I am hardened to it. It didn't shock me, and perhaps sadly enough, it didn't really anger me that much. I just kinda sat back and thought "yup, there it is."
Somehow the irony of this woman's interracial marriage was completely lost on her. The simple fact that 30 some years ago, her relationship with her husband would have been looked upon as "immoral, sickening, depraved, shacking up, not a real family unit and freaky" (her words to the lesbian couple, not mine) not to mention, uh, illegal! Oh no, the parallels were totally lost on her. In addition, as the missus astutely pointed out, she has no concept of history or factual knowledge about the bible she so likes to use as her foundation. She seemed to be overcompensating for her own insecurities.
The husband, while fairly ignorant about homosexuality himself, at least seemed to understand some of the fundamental christian teachings about not judging others and treating people with the respect they deserve. And I think he's the one who walked away the most affected by it. And the kids? Amazing.
Now don't get me wrong, I didn't much care for the lesbians either. I'm not a fan of the paper plate and microwave dinners. I particularly didn't like the lack of supervision with their child. (PG 13 for an 8 year old? C'mon.) Also, taking the guy to the gay bar for a dance lesson was totally unnecessary. There's an in-your-face double standard there. The lesbians would have been equally as uncomfortable if the christian woman insisted on taking the lesbian to a straight bar and making her dance with a man, much like we were angered by the "you can pretend to be straight" comment.
But nothing excuses the behavior and hurtful, hateful words this supposed christian used as pointed daggers. And I've just found out via my good friend Mopsa that this ultra-conservative queer loathing bible thumping republican, Kris Gillespie, is running for Texas State Senator. Yes, another notch on the neo-conservative belt.
On a positive note, I can only hope that perhaps the "middle of the road" Americans who watched this last night might have been affected by it. You know, people who don't think too much about either side of the issue. Maybe they saw this and felt something, anything. Watching this supposed christian woman act in such an unchristianly manner, the hate and the loathing she demonstrated, maybe they'll think about that. Maybe they saw something they've never really seen before. Maybe, just maybe, the ugly underbelly has been exposed, albeit briefly, though a silly reality show. Maybe they'll remember.
Posted by MJ at February 10, 2005 09:10 AM | TrackBackMaybe watching that and actually seeing themselves in Kris Gillespie will wake them up. Maybe they won't like what they see so much.
Posted by: Chari at February 10, 2005 09:15 AMAs I watched it I imagined that for those that think like Kris, they'll just feel vindicated that she spoke out against the scourge that is homosexuality. I hope that's not the case, but I never get the impression that the real hardliners ever see the irony or parallels in anything.
I also think that any argument that even begins to compare racial and sexual orientation oppression is doomed to fail. It often is seen as offensive to those that have experienced discrimination and violence based on race, rather than illuminating. One Kris went to "You can pretend to be straight", I thought any chance for sanity had left the building.
Posted by: jadedju at February 10, 2005 11:05 AMSome people just don't get it. And maybe they never will. But I remain optimistic that as more people realize they know (and love) someone who is gay, the light bulbs will illuminate in their heads. People need to see that those family members and friends are normal folks, and live shockingly lives.
We spend far too much time talking about the differences between homosexuals and heterosexual. MJ, perhaps it is not your intent with your blog, but your posts on here show that there is so more to your life and your interests than what happens in the bedroom.
Posted by: G-man at February 10, 2005 11:16 AMI meant to say shockingly normal lives in that last post. Hit post too soon. Sorry.
Posted by: G-man at February 10, 2005 11:18 AMExcellent point Chari - Perhaps some folks might see a bit of themselves in her and recognize the hypocrisy. Or not, as JJ points out. I have no doubt that there were thousands leaping and cheering as Gillespie ripped into those women. And as G-man says, those people will never, ever get it. Nor do I expect them to.
But there are millions of people out there who DO have the capacity to "get it" and those are the kind of folks I hope this might have reached. People who have even an ounce of humanity had to have recognized how unchristian and hypocritical her words and actions were, at least on some level.
I have an inkling that when Gillespie saw the tape, she may have surprised herself a bit. People like that are so programmed they often don't realize the intensity of what they are doing or saying. Perhaps her pastor had a few words for her...
And I agree about the race/orientation argument, to a degree. It will always be a difficult comparison for many. But discrimination and hate are discrimination and hate, plain and simple. At least in my book.
Posted by: MJ at February 10, 2005 12:42 PMI agree MJ, discrimination and hate are the same, regardless of context. And the pain and marginilization of people based on sexual orientation and race are certainly parallel in many ways. It just seems that attempting any diret comparison doesn't get too far with people before defensiveness and denial begin. So I just tend to leave it out of most discussions.
Posted by: jadedju at February 10, 2005 08:30 PMI totally missed this and was wondering if anyone taped it and would be willing to send it to me if I sent a blank and postage.
THanks for the fill-in though.
Cheers!
Posted by: Carrie at February 11, 2005 06:05 AMI didn't see this, but you reminded me of my mil. She is a reborn again/minister and she has no problems throwing out the verses at ya when you are in the wrong, but when it comes to her own demons, she's able to turn it around and make herself this little saint and all the things around her is the blame. I just don't get it sometimes.
Posted by: Susan at February 11, 2005 07:19 AMKris Gillespie was beaten in that 2002 race for the Texas House of Representatives, District 50, by Jack Stick. Yes, beaten by a Stick. So that's one less thing to worry about.
Posted by: Suzanne at February 11, 2005 10:46 AMlong time listener, first time caller...lol
i've never seen the show, so of course i didn't see this one, and i'm sure switching the lesbian with the christian was just another way of upping the ante as far as drama. it would be nice if people saw that and maybe had their minds opened a little. but then i thought of the other side too. could i ever be swayed to change my beliefs/values and my viewpoints by someone like Kris Gillespie and the answer is no, so i don't know how effective it would be to show a hardline christian conservative how lesbians live.
i went to the website and read the manuals and the interviews and all that hoohah and i gotta say they picked the most ridiculously dysfunctional lesbian couple i could imagine! the comments, to me, were just jaw-dropping. i mean, do they even get along at all? do they even enjoy each other at all? she basicly answered every question with "Nikki always gets what she wants" with what seemed to be a great deal of resentment. and yes, the paper plates comment killed me! and no parental controls on the kid? ack!
Posted by: aqua at February 11, 2005 02:31 PMMy bad, dude. She DID run. And, the day I posted that news I had run across a message board with an article that suggested she was preparing to run again. But I'll be damned if I can find that now. So, sorry 'bout that, dear. Anyway - -she's still a big Republican activist in the great state of Texas and I suspect this won't be the last of her political career. I've edited my blog post to reflect this updated info.
Posted by: mopsa at February 12, 2005 03:59 PMDear Readers...
As the letter below will indicate, I am a Christian... but I DEPLORED and was LIVID at the behavior of this 'so-called" Christian Kris Gillespie.
The letter below is one I sent DIRECTLY TO Kris Gillespie at her and her husband's personal e-mail. I won't divulge it... because it's not fair to do that. But if you wish to REASONABLY let her know your views directly... you can find her e-mail and/or contact location via a simple bit of GOOGLE searching. But my views below reflect my feelings... and the desire that ALL Christians are NOT judged by the reprehensable behavior of this woman.
Dear Mrs. Gillespie:
I am a deeply devout Christian... who LOVES my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with all my heart and soul. I'm politically conservative and as a young man. I'm also in a wonderful relationship with a beautiful Christian woman.
I have been raised to love the Lord all my life. And... one of the scriptures my deeply religious and wonderful Mother and Aunt taught me from childhood is that
"Not everyone who cries Lord, Lord... will enter the kingdom of Heaven. The Pharisees believed they were doing God's work... but as we both know from scripture... they are in for a rude awakening when Christ returns very soon.
That scripture was just one of the thoughts I had while watching your incredibly appalling, unflinchingly cruel and un-Christian behavior on Wife Swap. It is unforgiving and vicious behavior such as yours that only gives ammunition to those secular and atheist people who would like nothing better than to portray Christians as "talking the talk... but certainly not walking the walk". You did nothing but personally show the ENTIRE country what is the essence of piety, self-righteousness, and cruelty... flavored with a generous dose of materialism.
Let me be crystal clear. I do NOT completely understand gay relationships... being a "straight" male myself... but, I do believe such relationships are often based in a real true love... and as such deserve at minimal Christian tolerance and some level of understanding.
However, as a Christian myself... I was SICKENED by your cruel, pious, self-righteous behavior during that program. You were especially an embarrassment to yourself, your family and ALL true LOVING Christians with the venom and hurtful insults you hurled at the woman who switched places with you... during the show's closing moments.
Despite her lifestyle... she showed your family and children NOTHING but respect and kindness. You, on the other hand, acted like a rich Pharisee presenting a disgusting level of cruelty and venom which made me embarrassed for you... and especially your children.
How cruel of you to even suggest the woman who was in your household was a "sexual predator"!
If YOU were TRULY so concerned about this possibility at any point during the filming of this program... you could have EASILY voiced this concern... and ceased production out of "concern" for your children. However, the truth is... you only wanted to be hurtful, nasty and cruel in the most Un-Christ-like of manner. I am certain your phone rang off the hook when many other people across the country... those in your church... and those where your husband works at Centech Solutions saw the hypocritical, hostile, venomous reality that you hide under your false veneer of Christianity... after the telecast of Wife Swap.
I was taught to treat people with respect and the love of God. When you meet someone who sins... you teach them the light of God's love and laws WITH love.... not the hatred and cold secular condescension you displayed to such vile effect.
You COULD have tried to reach this lesbian couple with loving, Christ-like guidance. You COULD have tried to use this uniquely PUBLIC forum to show the same guidance that our Lord Savior Jesus Christ showed when he walked amongst, dined, and FORGAVE the sinners he encountered during his ministry. You were in an incredibly unique position on a national, popular program to show Christ's love, forgiveness and teachings in a loving fashion.
Sadly, that was an opportunity you and your husband squandered to embarrassing effect.
It was a squandered opportunity for you both... and for ALL true Christians.
I DON'T expect you to accept the lifestyle of that lesbian couple... and as for me, I leave that judgement up to God, not me.
But, you... via you own words and actions... made me angry, offended, and embarrassed that someone such as you present yourself as a "Christian".
You may read the Bible... and quote scripture verbatim... etc, etc, etc... but, beneath your veneer of Christianity seems to be a cold, cruel core of evil savagery and willingness to hurt people with your words with relish and without any hint of remorse.
Even when you obviously had deeply hurt your "Wife Swap" counterpart and reduced her to tears... WHERE WAS YOUR CHRISTIAN SENSITIVITY?
Your face showed no level of caring or love or at minimal, compassion for someone hurting.... only contempt.
Scripture teaches we as Christians may hate the sin... but LOVE the sinner. Your pitiful, transparent and contrived prayer for the lesbian couple, with your family for the cameras weeks after the face to face meeting... was as empty and meaningless as the apparent vacuous level of your compassion.
God knows this... and all true Christians watching your hateful behavior know this as well.
If you've bothered to read this far... it's obvious I'm angry and sickened. Sickened because it is hard enough in this evil secular world to WIN new souls in preparation of the Lord's return.
Your cruelty, piety and hardness on "Wife Swap" only solidifies what is already a difficult road for those of us trying to SAVE souls... not alienate them.
I expect you STILL will see that you were right to act in the fashion that you did. You see yourself standing up for God against what you saw as sin. You won't see that you condemned the sin... in a SINFUL fashion.
If so, your heart is as hardened and soured as the Pharisees that will say " Lord, Lord... we did all this in your name."
Sadly, God will probably say to you on the Day of Judgement we ALL face...
Mrs. Gillespie, "Depart from me... I do not know you."
Interesting. Very interesting...
Thank you T-007 for speaking out. While I still strongly disagree with your general position that, as a lesbian, I am a sinner whose opportunity to be "saved" was squandered, I really do appreciate your taking the time to denounce Kris Gillespie's very UN-christian behavior. As well as acknowledging that God will be my judge, not mankind.
And I will gladly meet that challenge, as I know MY God will welcome me. As for Kris Gillespie, well... her day will come and I wish her the best of luck. She's going to need it...
Posted by: MJ at February 13, 2005 08:13 PMDear MJ..
Thanks for you thoughts. I just wanted to clarify... I wasn't suggesting in my previous posting that gays were "sinners" in need of being saved.
I was... perhaps badly explaining that... Gillespie should be trying to spread what Christians consider to be the good word of accepting God to ALL so called "sinners"... which includes straights, gays... ALL people including myself.
I too have sinned many times. So I fit into that category. None of us are perfect.
I don't pretend to know the answer to the what God thinks of gay relationships. That's for God to judge one day... the SAME as he'll judge straights for their acts in life and relationships.
At the risk of sounding very cliched... I truly have many friends who are gay. I care about them... and don't think ever about their needing to be "saved" because of their orientation.
As a Christian... my family raised me to accept all people for who they are... and leave the judgement to God on these issues.
My job is to treat all people, gay and straight with the same respect that Jesus showed during his time on earth.
Bottom line... I don't want any readers of this to leave thinking ALL Christians are like Kris Gillespie.
She... in my opinion... is a pious, deluded, self-righteous pretender to what it TRULY means to be a Christian.
Please do not stereotype ALL who claim a love of God to be judgemental folks like Kris Gillespie.... no more than the most flamboyant gay stereotype out of a Saturday night Live skit represents all gay people.
Gillespie is NOT a true Christian... beacuse no true Christian would act that way.
Sadly... she gives the rest of us who try to respect and love all decent people a bad name.
Please remember this posting the next time anyone says to you... ALL those bible-thumping Christians are alike... all out to "get" we gays.
It's not true.
Peace.
MJ: Your response to T-007's initial post made me proud to consider you as one of my friends -- I wouldn't hesitate to hold you up as an example of an excellent human being.
T-007: You are just as much of an eye-opener in a positive manner as Kris G. is in a negative one. May both of you help to guide all Americans on the path to enlightenment and real love. You as a beacon, and she as a mirror.
There seems to be a campaign to separate Christianity from those who are gay/lesbian. The church belongs to everyone who chooses it -- not just to those who feel some pious entitlement to it. As T-007 stated, there are many who are in for a rude awakening, come the day they meet their maker.
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