February 28, 2005
FUH2
I've linked to FUH2.com before but I've never actually had the motivation to participate, until yesterday.
Ooooh. I was pissed. I'm just about to make a right hand turn into your typical strip mall when this asshole in a bright red H2 coming the other direction turns into the same drive and cuts me off.
Me = Honda CRV
He = 8500lb Chevy Tahoe Poseur.
I yielded.
Now normally I'd also honk and swear but then I saw it (er, them...) hanging from the hitch. And I couldn't stop laughing.
The dude had BALLS. Nads. Testicles. Yes, a matching bright red nut sac hanging off his hitch. See what I'm talking about? I laughed - oh how I laughed. What an idiot.
So when I came out of the store and saw it still there in the lot, I had to do it. I had to snap that pic of me flipin' off the H2. But while doing so, the owner (more like ower) about 50, balding, short, pudgy - of course, came out of the fucking DAIRY QUEEN, saw me with the camera phone, and he started smiling at me.
He thought I was admiring his big red polluting piece of shit with a sad little nut sac hanging off the back. But alas, I was mocking you. And I took great pleasure in it. So I smiled back at you knowingly. The only thing that would have brought me more pleasure at that moment would have been the opportunity to NEUTER the SOB. Snip... and I'd leave just enough behind to prove that no, they weren't stolen. You've been clipped. Heh.
In other news:
The Friday Fishwrap got a nice little plug in this weeks Desert Post Weekly. A big howdy to anyone finding their way here via the Desert Rat column. Kick your shoes off and stay while. If you're looking for the wedding story, it's over there on the right. But if you happen to be a middle aged little fella with a giant red H2 - Better watch your balls man...
*update: Mikey over at Hey Freak had a similar truck nuts run-in this weekend. I've decided I'm going to develop and market a special truck-nuts mohel tool (think bolt cutters) and build out a web site devoted to neutered vehicles. I could make a fortune!
Posted by MJ at February 28, 2005 08:33 AM | TrackBackdude. duuuuuude. you're not gonna believe this, but the other day, i saw a truck with a nutsack hanging off the back axle. i swear! i even took a picture with my camera phone.
what is this, a new trend in big truck owning? not only do they have small penises, but they don't have attached testicles?
Posted by: mikey at February 28, 2005 09:01 AMNo way! I can't believe how retarded/sad that is!
Posted by: Ms. Q at February 28, 2005 10:06 AMLMAO at the red balls. Unreal.
Question for the ask MJ anything column: What exactly do you do for a living?
Posted by: greybird at February 28, 2005 11:31 AMit gets worse! not only does a company make truck balls, but...
... they've got competition!
my gawd, i had no idea that there was such a demand for fake scrotums (scrotii?). i guess it just goes to show that most guys who have those "compensators" (big trucks) don't have any balls.
Posted by: mikey at February 28, 2005 12:22 PMThat's exactly what I thought... "Well, THERE'S a little over-compensation!"
i used to go out with a guy who said the bigger the car, the smaller the man. he drove a two seater. 'nuff said!
:-)
