Friday Fishwrap

Blogsharing

This is just a reminder to any of you playing the BlogShares game. The market will be reset tonight as it moves from beta to launch and the only thing you will carry with you into the live game is your cash balance. What does this mean? Sell. Sell it all, including your own blog. You will get your 1000 shares back in your portfolio in the new game. But any shares you don't sell will be gone for good. As well as your transaction history.

You should have received an email from BlogShares a week ago explaining the process.

A big thanks and mad props to the generous couple Natalie and Andy who got bored with the game and gifted their shares out to lucky folks like me! Whoop!

Tuesday Timewasters

Sex or Something Else? See if you can identify who's doing it. I scored 10/16. I guess that means I watch just enough porn but not too much.

Which country of the world are you? I'm Australia. I can live with that...

Many folks have already linked to it, but World as a blog is pretty damn cool.

HaringKids.com Lots of fun stuff to play around with.

More groovy artsy fartsy stuff: Tuesday

Someone please explain this one to me: wwwwwwwww.jodi.org
via presurfer

In other news:
What the fuck? Madonna and KaZaA: "In a vain attempt to stop P2P users swapping songs from Madonna's 'American Life' album, the lady herself released a series of 'dummy' files onto KaZaA. these are full length files but only the first few seconds contain sound, a recording of Madonna saying 'What the fuck do you think you're doing?'."

Back to reality

Unfortunately, a most fantastic weekend has come to an end. My good friends are now at the PSP airport and will soon be back in cold, rainy San Francisco.

We spent all of Saturday and Sunday pool side polishing off 3.5 cases of beer and half a bottle of sunscreen. Closed out the weekend with a big BBQ last night. For having so many fucking geeks around, I'm shocked not a shred of digital photographic evidence exists. Probably a good thing. Though I wish someone had taken of picture of the Missus pushing me in the pool - fully clothed (she'll pay, I just haven't decided when or how). And I wish someone had taken a picture of the two iBooks that were getting it on in the wet bar. We figured out that's where iPods come from. Bwaaahhahaa... Okay - I guess ya kinda had to be here for that one. Or better yet, a picture of my expert driving skills...

Saturday morning we headed to the grocery store to restock for the day. At the stop sign, actually no... just past the stop sign, I realized that the brakes had gone out on the convertible. After a quick consultation ("Brakes? We don't need no stinking brakes!") we decided to go for it. Unfettered by needless stopping devices we continued merrily along to our destination. I coasted into the parking spot perfectly, and we did our shopping. I'm sure you've witnessed this scene before: a couple of hung over dykes in flip flops, baseball caps and sunglasses buying two cases beer, some bacon and a loaf of bread on a Saturday morning. Pretty. Thankfully, we made it back in one piece.

Tomorrow she (the car, not the passenger, though you never know...) is going in to have a little work done. Drop in a rebuilt carb, full tune up, oil change, and figure out what the hell is going on with the brakes. While we got by on Saturday, I'm thinking it might be a good idea to have working brakes, you know, just in case I really need to stop or something.

In other news:
Kittens are doing fine. They're quite mobile now. They finally figured out how their legs work and are totally bustin' a move. Next comes the "hoppy phase" - my favorite.

People over 40 should be dead.

I received the following forwarded email from the missus this morning. While it's titled "People over 40..." at 36 years of age, I can identify with every single item on the list. It reminds me of an article in Newsweek last fall titled "The Last Generation to Live on the Edge"

People over 40 should be dead.

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's probably shouldn't have survived.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.)

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors!

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. No cell phones. Unthinkable!

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms.

We had friends! We went outside and found them.

We played dodge ball, and sometimes, the ball would really hurt.

We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame but us. Remember accidents?

We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

Some students weren't as smart as others, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade. Horrors! Tests were not adjusted for any reason. Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. And you're one of them!

Congratulations.

Please pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before lawyers and government regulated our lives, for our own good...

Two truths and a lie.

Two statements are true. One is a lie. Which one?

I was once engaged to a man.
I have been arrested twice.
I have an irrational fear of spiders.

shamelessly ripped straight off of decaf venti no whip mocha

Gearing up

Not nearly the production quality of "Endless Love" but still kinda funny. Check out Bush and Blair: Gay Bar

Okay girls - let's give it our best shot. How well do you do peeing standing up? After a few beers, it's get tough! Uh- hang on, I'll be right back... Ah, much better. Speaking of beer...

Labatt Blue [my Canadian beer of choice] has some great little spots Cheers. To Friends

And that's what we'll be doing this weekend...

Company is-a comin'! I'm so psyched! It will be a full house with the 5[6] regular cats, four baby kittens and our two best friends but I am so looking forward to hanging with my buds pool side, a case or two or three of beer and some yummy BBQ courtesy of the one and only incredible Chef OddGirl and her lovely girl who are also coming into town this weekend (though not staying here, unfortunately... no room at the inn!) I hope I'm up to task because goddamn summabitch...

I'm so exhausted. This kitten thing is wearing us down. The late night feedings are screwing us both up. It's not easy. All four are eating well and are active and healthy. The whole "elimination" issue is another story. I won't go into great detail, suffice to say that #2 is not happening as often as it should and when it does - stand back. I got up this morning to feed them and found that two of them had done their business in the night and everyone in there decided it was time to celebrate. It's a party! N-A-S-T-Y crap everywhere! (okay, so that's a lot of detail, sorry) They all had baths and are now fed and sleeping like angels. Shit flinging, poo rolling, high pitched whining little fucking angels.

I know... Patience is a virtue and all that but I get frustrated sometimes, I'm human. Then I look into their eyes. And I melt. It's so hard but so rewarding. We hopefully have found a home for one, maybe two so far. And they are a few days, maybe a week from weaning. Once that happens, all will be right again in the world. Until then, I sit here and wonder in awe of how [human] parents cope. There's no way in hell I could ever do this with a child. You can't just give children away for a nominal fee once they're eating solid food. Though I bet some parents wish they could. That reminds me... I've gotta call my mom and tell her thank you!

Random Linkage

Hello Jesus!

Brittle-Bones.com. The navigation is a bitch but there are some very strange and unusual nuggets there if you click around enough [warning: some slightly disturbing imagery]

"The Doody Family - true faggot fanatics – are the family recently chosen in a nationwide search to find a family to represent Mr Brain’s Faggots. " Apparently "faggots" are yummy little pork ball treats over in the UK. Now I though a fag in the UK was a cigarette - now ya got me all confused...

Vintage Candy Salesbook. Great packaging from 1949 for my fellow retro fans.

3rd rock from the sun, make a left

Happy Earth Day!

Not being a professional steward of the planet, I only know this because I was curious about the Martians over at Google.

The kittens now have their own page.

Return to Linkville

I have a lot of catching up to do!

Put me in a box if you must. The worlds smallest political quiz.

"If the moon fixes its eye like a great vector of Fleischpie of the vector of Pizzapie, is the lover."
Lost in the transaltion. Remember the game Telephone? This is kinda like
that, but Babelized.

Railroad Oddities I like the Gyroscope Railroad. That could actually work... as a matter of fact, it did work! But I don't know if I'd use a pretty girl as the test subject.

Does this information freak anyone else out? Man, that's some creepy shit. Not that I really ever bought from Benetton anyway, but still...
via presurfer

Why is it, none of these cats look particularly happy? Oh right, the humiliation...
via oddgirl

John Popper couldn't have been smoking pot, he looks like he's lost weight! I say use the "munchies" defense...

Fun and Games:
It's VOCABULISTIC!! Link Letter (took me a few tries before I realized you can go diagonally.

When Pigs Fly!

Ba-Ba-Baciami

The Alien in My Neighbors Yard has been updated.

The kittens are doing much better today and are starting to get the hang of the bottle, which is a great thing. They are considerably more mobile... which is not such a great thing. Time for a deeper box. I swear to god... they are so adorable though. Their ears are still all folded in. They look like little ewoks.

Had a fun weekend. No illicit non-consensual drug use (unless you count the killer vodka punch at Jamies party last night). Just got back from dinner and the now traditional Easter game of bocce ball at Rich and Michaels. The missus kept calling the pallino "the palenta" which of course evolved into "the placenta". I, on the other equally annoying hand, could not stop humming Rosemary Clooney's Botch-a-Me. "C'mon-a you kiss-a me now!"

Cocktail hour went longer than I anticipated so I had skip dinner to come home to feed the kittens. I missed out on the classic Easter spiral ham but I got back just in time for the best god damn apple fritter I've ever had!

Okay off to bed for me... I'm on deck for the middle of the night feeding tonight. It's like having friggin' children, but without all the vomit. Sort of.

Dr. Doolittle - Line 1

Here we go again!

Four new 19 day old kittens in a box - in our bedroom. Momma "Inky The Kitten Factory" is none too pleased, but the sooner we get them the better their chances will be. They were born April Fools Day in our hedge. Mom is an excellent mom. This is her third litter (that we know of) to be born in our backyard. We've tried repeatedly to trap and spay her but she's too smart for the trap. So the cycle continues... They will be bottle fed for at least the next 2 weeks (nothing more fun at 3:00am!)

Anyone in Southern California (or San Francisco - I'll deliver!) who is interested in adopting one (or two or...) of these adorable babies in about 3-4 weeks just let me know: mj@fridayfishwrap.com

Better pictures tomorrow.

TGIF

Hey, it's White Party Friday! And it's time to go home... Now get the hell outta here because It's Raining Men!

(Now where the hell did I put that umbrella?)

The lights are so pretty!

Well, as you can all see, I've added my mug on the right. This is all part of my attempt to make this blog more accessible and to personalize things a bit. If this frightens you, let me know and I'd be happy to remove it ;)

In other news:
It's White Party Weekend here in Palm Springs. That means that 20,000 circuit boys are in town holding enough "K" and "X" to make the world go away for at least 72 hours. The city has suspended it's noise ordinance for the weekend so we're bracing for the steady thump thump thump into the wee hours of the morning.

I've got nothing against White Party, it's a blast. However, last year the missus and I along with 4 of our boy buddies went to the Sunday T-Dance and within 5 minutes we were non-consensually dosed with what I assume was X (if memory of my deadhead days serves me). All six of us had the exact same thing - Coronas with lime. I'm fairly certain someone had dosed up the limes. While disconcerting at first, there wasn't much we could do about it except dance. And we ended up having a hell of a time on the ferris wheel watching the fireworks and didn't get home until 4am after a brief scuffle with security over a hamburger.

The best part of the weekend is the "Bonnet Contest" on Sunday afternoon. These guys go extremes when it comes to their Easter Bonnets. Very fun and very entertaining.

Who knows what else is in store this year, but I'm staying away from the garnishes at the bar...

The Return of the Butt Spiders!

I can't believe that I actually received this letter in my inbox this morning. It arrived as a forward from a person who normally checks the facts before sending out such crap. To top it off, it had been sent to her last night by another dear friend of mine that must have been drunk. He never would have sent that out if he hadn't been suckin' on the bottle.

People, please... Butt Spiders? This one's been around for years!

I feel complete

Yay! I got my iBook back! And the first word I needed to look up from the comfort of my couch? Defenestration. Try working that into a conversation...

Just so there's no confusion

I am not, nor have I ever met The Other MJ in the blog-o-sphere. She is of the gorgeous straight femme Korean genre. I however, fall into the work boot, flannel wearing (though not in this climate) lesbo anglo saxon column. However, we both lived in Michigan for a while so I can see why some of you might have been confused...

Sir Isaac would not be impressed

Honda has a new chain reaction video that is very cool looking. It would be even cooler if I thought it was all for real! See if you can spot the one sequence that convinced me that this is not on the up and up.
via the kingdom of squirrels

In other news:
It's Tax Day! The All-American Holiday where thousands stand in line at the post office praying that they can get that extension form postmarked by midnight. Me? Well, unfortunately for the first time since I was in college I have to file an extension this year too. Not because I procrastinated (which I did) but because our prepared returns never arrived via USPS.

They were mailed to us over 2 weeks ago from our accountant up in SF, but they yet to show up. Now I'm freaking. If someone has stolen our mail, they have some *very* personally identifying information and that just gives me the willies. And it's likely that this is the case. I have other mail that has not arrived and while I would like to blame Jim-Bob our local pokey postmaster, I'm guessing it was Johnny and Bobby-Sue, our local tweekers. A police report will be filed. Damn, the cops are getting to be regulars in this neighborhood.

In other other news:
Natalie has a new look for spring. And she's redesigned her blog too!

So has that hot dish Gretchen.
"As American as warm apple pie and boobies a la mode!" Mmm. Pie.

In other other other news:
This incredible slow and screwed up site brought to you by www.your-site.com. They are absolutely positively the worst hosts I have ever had to deal with. Don't ever use them.

Monday MishMash

Misery - Cool stuff.

Nothing like a little geography quiz to make you feel really stupid. I fared pretty well on the US (granted, I've always had a problem distinguishing New Hampshire and Vermont - not to mention the whole Mississippi/Alabama thing) but Europe was another story. Man I sucked. My head hurts.

How long can you keep the soccer ball in the air? Surprisingly difficult, I went a whole 20 seconds!

Check out the Global Security Simulator
thanks staz!

Barney Barney Barney! I had no idea that there is a cat named India living in the White House.

And like a good neighbor, MJ is there.

This morning I went next door to investigate The Alien growing in my neighbors yard. These neighbors live in LA and come out to Palm Springs maybe 4 times a year at best. I think they are just about the swellest neighbors a person could have. Nice and never there. We try and keep an eye on the place for them, though there has never been any kind of formal arrangement.

After checking out The Alien. I walked back to the gate and noticed a pool of water by their back door. I couldn't figure out where the water was coming from. No irrigation nearby. No spigot. The swimming pool fill was on the other side of the house... Shrug.

Then I got to thinking, what if there was a leak in the house or something? So I called them (I didn't want to just go in without permission) and left a message about the alien and the wet spot (that sounds dirty.. or like a great name for a band).

Then I got to thinking even more. I know it's the weekend, but what if they are away somewhere? What if there's a really major leak or something? What if it were my house? What would I want my neighbor to do? So I grabbed their keys and went back over.

Oh. My. God.

The place was flooded. I mean FLOODED. 2 inches of standing water everywhere and mold and mildew like I have never seen, all over the walls, all over the furniture. I was wheezing before I even made it through the front door. There's gotta be at least $25K worth of damage. Carpets, walls, all the furniture - ruined. Turns out the supply line to the toilet has sprung a leal - god knows how long ago - and was spraying water all over the place. I shut it off, came back and left them another message with the bad news, then took my digital camera over to document the damage.

Three hours later, they've just arrived. Being the swell folks they are, they thanked me for discovering it and had a positive outlook. "You can get mad and cry or you can look on the bright side. Either way, you're writing checks." he said. "We've been putting it off, but there's no getting around it now. It's time to spruce the place up!"

Which is great, because it really is the most neglected house on the block. A woman knocked on my door last week asking if I knew if the place was a foreclosure or not. She was looking for her first home and thought maybe she could get a deal.

It'll be nice to see the place get some TLC. As long as they don't kill The Alien I'm fine with it!

Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'?

In addition to my desktop iMac, I also have an iBook. Some of my faithful readers might recall the reason I was forced to purchase my new Macs.

While in the throws of the "cat piss incident" (as it will forever be referred to) a good friend of mine James, also a graphic designer, lent me his older powerbook which saved my ass. With his loaner I was able to complete a very large, time sensitive job. He had all the programs I needed, all the fonts etc. I had to rebuild everything from scratch (ding dong dumb ass here hadn't backed up), but he totally saved my ass.

My piss soaked Powerbook was not worth fixing, so I hemmed and hawed about getting a new G4 Titanium or an iMac and iBook (same cost). Obviously, I settled on the later.

When I finally hooked up the Airport in January, the iBook quickly became my portable reference device. I use it constantly. On any given day you might find in on the coffee table (news reference), the patio table (crossword puzzle cheating), the kitchen counter (iTunes), the bar (cocktail recipes), on the passenger seat (presentations), or on the night stand (late night surfing).

Not today though, and not for the past 12 days.

Two weeks ago James spilled a glass of wine on his brand new G4 Titanium and fried the logic board. So I gladly repaid the favor and lent him my iBook. But now I'm lost. During the last two weeks, I've come to realize now how dependent I am on my wireless world. I find myself sighing heavily at mere idea of having to get off my lazy ass to go look up a word. Worse yet, I live in fear that a repeat of the "cat piss incident" will send me spinning out of control.

So here I am doing the Sunday crossword and I'm stuck. I drag my ass into my office to boot up the iMac. And what do I find? Fucking CAT PISS ... on the flat panel of my iMac. Some motherfucker backed her ass up to my display and did a little shake. No damage. Everything works fine. But I swear to god, I sure wish I had my iBook so I could look up that bookmarked recipe for Fillet de Chat with a nice Bearnaise Sauce.

Mmm. Roast beast!

TGIF

Hey, it's Friday! And it's time to go home... Now get the hell outta here and Ia ora te natura

Step 1: Pour yourself a tall cocktail

Fuck me. I'm 36 years old. Will somebody please tell me when I get to move on from the "some assembly required son-of-a-bitch, goddamn it!" phase into the "white glove delivery just put it over there, no, a little to the left please" phase of my life...

Oh how I long for the day when nary a piece of furniture in my house requires "simple assembly using hammer and screwdriver."

I gotch ya hammer, right here...

On Marriage and Hangovers

Robyn is discussing the "gay marriage" bill in Connecticut that died in committee and it got me to thinking about what's been happening in California.

When San Francisco first offered domestic partnership registration with the city, the Missus and I were totally against it. I had this youthful ideal that full and equal marriage rights for gays and lesbians could and would be a reality in the near future and I didn't want to participate in anything that could be interpreted as signing up for second class citizenship. I don't want table scraps, I want the whole damn dinner!

As time passed and a statewide domestic partnership law was enacted, my thinking changed. Perhaps registering with the state would offer some protection. Most importantly, we thought about what might happen if we *didn't* register. Should one of us die, it would lend credence to a challenge of our wills by family members. They could argue that even though the state offered such a registry, we *chose* not to register, ergo, despite our declarations in front of 150 people and GOD at our wedding, we were not really committed to one another. I know it's a stretch, but when you have a couple of wild cards in your families, you have to at least acknowledge the worst. So we did it. Paid our $10 and now we were "on the list." It didn't really mean much at the time since there was so little offered except simple recognition. But the word "Marriage" raised so many conservitive hackles that they had to pass a law stating that "Marriage" was reserved for one woman and one man.

However, since Prop 22 (the Knight Initiative titled "Limit's on Marriage") passed, California has been flying under the radar with regard to our DP laws. Slowly behind the scenes DPs are getting more and more of the same protections offered to legally married couples. And most Californians have no idea it's happening. AB25 [pdf] was probably the most significant and historical change to the DP law. The NCLR puts it out in plain English: AB25 - What it means to you

And now we have AB 205 which would offer full and equal marriage rights to ALL Californians. I don't know if it stands a chance right now, but hell - go for it!

So anyway, last week, the Missus gets a letter [pdf] from the Kevin Shelly, the CA Secretary of State, explaining that a new law is going into effect this summer and will make significant changes to the California Domestic Partnership law. In a nutshell, being registered as DPs now allows for property and inheritance rights. Kick Ass! I had no idea - this is so cool!

But the letter has a bit of a warning tone to it. It discusses terminating your agreement at great length. As in "Uh, just in case you didn't know, your domestic partner will get all of your shit when you die unless you do something about it NOW!" I thought this was hilarious! Then I realized that the letter was only addressed to her. Wait a minute! Are they only sending it to one partner? What the hell is going on here? Where's my letter warning me about my money grabbing gold digging wife?!? I want my letter!

I was relieved to find in the mail box yesterday. Not that it really matters - we have wills and medical directives and power of attorneys etc... But still... fair is fair damn it!

Because of the tone of the letter, I had to wonder... How many people actually forgot they were domestically partnered? I mean - is it really something you do on a whim? Like getting married by Elvis in Vegas? I can't imagine waking up one morning, scratching your head and trying to remember through the vodka haze of the night before... "Did I really get that form notarized? Did I actually pay $10?? Holy shit! What have I done?!?"

Everything is going to be alright

Friends are hurting, friends are dying, friends are angry, and a few friends are celebrating life and taking pleasure in the little things. There is a war, there is unrest, there is hate, yet somewhere out there ... there is love and there is hope.

To say that everything is going to be alright sounds superficial and trite, but it's true. No matter what life puts before us, everything is going to be alright. I have to believe that. And I hope you do too, friend.

No woman no cry.

Le Knife

Always use the right tool for the right job!

via the people's republic of seabrook

Links here! Get yer red hot links here!

Fun and Games
Oh man, this backyard rollercoaster is cool! I've got a great idea now, I just need to check our homeowners policy first...

Ah, memories... I stumbled on this oldie but goodie this morning; My Trailor Park. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, and like I want to take a shower... again.

The Envelopes Please! Help I.R. find all the envelopes. And also help Scooby save the day! Creepy Castle Two games from the Cartoon Network.

If those don't float yer boat, check out 'Lil Games for lots of fun 'lil stuff.

And now for the sexy part of our program
Is it hot in here? Or is it just the planet!? (it's all in the eye of the beholder!)

Naked Pizza Delivery Very funny. (not safe for work - sorta, depends on where you work!)

Think globally, whack locally. Masturbate for Peace.

On a more serious note
Al Jazeera in English.

On a not so serious note
Go Giants! They're Cruzin' with a 7-0 start. I gotta get up there for a game - and soon! (hint hint)

Meet George Jetson

I don't have any photographic evidence to prove it (because I'm an idiot and forgot to bring the camera) but today I took a Segway for a spin. Oh and a Vespa. Oh and a Think. All courtesy of two guys who enjoy their toys. And best of all, they share.

The Segway: Simply amazing. First we were asked to watch the 20 minute "safety" video, which showed all of the really really STUPID things one should not attempt, like going down a flight of stairs. Or girl watching while driving. Or trying to answer your cell phone. They never showed an actual person falling off, but it kinda freak me out. Yes, you can get hurt on one of these things. It will get away from you if you're not paying attention.

Finally armed with useful sunny desert climate riding knowledge, like how NOT to climb a grassy knoll in the rain, we headed out to the street to take them for a spin. Yes, they bought 2 because Segways really should come in pairs. It's much more fun to have a buddy to scoot around with.

Bottom line? It is so fucking cool - beyond fucking cool - I can't even begin to describe the sensation. Getting on and off takes some practice but within about 5 mins the missus and I were zooming along at a whopping 12 mph (which actually felt much faster) doing figure eights and slalom maneuvers. There were only a few "Jane! Stop this crazy thing!" moments and noone got hurt. I'm imagining that someday soon there will be a new sport called "Synchronized Segway Ballet" because they really almost dance. Now, if I could just figure out how to justify spending $5K just before tax time... ah, never mind. It was an amazing experience and if you ever get a chance to try one out - DO IT!

Next he insisted that I take his Tiffany Blue (with matching helmet) Vespa for a spin. I used to have a motorcycle (1972 Honda CB550-4) and I've ridden scooters before, but after the alien sensation of the Segway, I really had to be extra careful. The two machines do not respond the same way. Once I got my bike legs back, I took it up to the gas station and put a whopping $2.50 in the tank to fill it up. Now, Tiffany Blue is not really my color, but I quickly got over it once I was cruising along. The thing really moves - I was surprised. I got it up to 50mph. He said it will go 60, but 50 was good enough for me. While driving down the main drag, all I could think about was Eddie Izzard saying "Ciao!"

Once I brought the Vespa back, we took his Think for a ride. Now picture this... Two single file Segways being followed by a Think puttering around the neighborhood. We looked like an alternative transportation ad. Very funny. What a great day!

A glimpse into my world

This morning I was messing around with iPhoto and it's Quicktime export feature and put together a cool little slide show of some of my favorite pics of me and my friends. After viewing it just a few minutes ago, the missus says "So, you want me to play this at your funeral?"

Though I intended it just to be fun, I suppose it could have that kind of tone to it. So yes, if I die before I get a chance to produce a proper multimedia farewell, play this at my funeral. 7.5MB Quicktime required.

If you are wondering who any of these people are - keep wondering... I ain't naming names (unless you show me the money!)

TGIF

Hey, it's Friday! And it's time to go home... Now get the hell outta here and Sing Michael, Sing

Random Roundup!

Holy Virginity Batman! Joseph vs. The Angel of the Lord.

Maybe I'm strange - check that - okay, I know I'm strange. I totally dug this License Plates of the World site. For the US, they have every state plate, including optionals, as well as prototypes that never made the grade and Tribal Plates.

I can't juggle in real life - how the hell am I supposed to do it with my keyboard? For those of you with the time and inclination: Flash Juggling Simulator.

Could it be true? Low-cost third-party Macs? It might happen. Check out the Pizza Box inspired iBox.

Out Wit - Out Play - Out Run - Run! Run for your lives!
Okay, Matthew is freaking me out too. I wonder if the producers are working up a contingency plan for when he goes postal and takes out the other tribe members with his machete. The man is seriously walking a tight-rope on the edge of sanity. But then again, the same could be said for a lot of people I've been seeing on TV these days....

Reminder: Turn your clocks back forward back FORWARD Saturday night! For some this might mean going to work an hour earlier. For others (perhaps myself) it means Happy Hour starts an hour earlier!

Nobody here. Just me.

Organic Arsolyls

Chem 101 - Molecules with Silly or Unusual Names
Furthermore, the structure where arsole is fused to a benzene ring is called 'benzarsole', and apparently when it's fused to 6 benzenes is called 'sexibenzarsole', although that molecule hasn't been synthesised yet.

In Other News:
My main source of news these days is The Daily Show but when that's not on, I check out BBC America or NewsWorld International. NWI is the CBC international feed, with translated newscasts from around the world. I love the CBC. I wanna be Canadian! Not only do I get to watch the curling highlights and The National with the ever smirky Peter Mansbridge, but they also produce incredible projects like this: Naked

Ooops. Someone forgot to bring their "Field Guide to War Photographers Ethics and Standards"

Remember that Greek Whinin' kid? Dear lord, the apocalypse is upon us...
Angry Naked Pat

And now for something completely differrent

MJ's Desert Island Discs

Story of My Friggin' Life

So I did the whole BlogShares meme and guess what? My IPO had a resounding "phhhtttt" sound to it and my "stock" went right down the crapper. Granted, my mezzanine funding was lean and I didn't get the buzz I was hoping for. My exit strategy is a buyout.

Seriously though, based on my actual track record, I should market myself as an expert on what NOT to buy. It might be funny if it weren't so true. Any financial analyst would take one look at my portfolio and laugh themselves all the way to the bank. IRA? What IRA? I don't need no stinkin' IRA!

Bah!

Who's the fool?

In honor of April Fool's Day, I decided to resurrect an old game I used to play called "The Fool's Errand."

Oh, it seems simple... at first. But now I'm about ready to tear my hair out trying to apply the third key of troth to the high priestess and the bitch won't cooperate. I can't remember how to do it. And I'm sure I'm about to have a seizure for the chaotic flickering optical illusions. If you ever want to drive yourself crazy - give it a whirl

Oh, and Mr. Lyon from the zoo left me a voice mail today. I wonder what he wants? I suppose I should call him back...