May 30, 2003
Home
[ed.note: this entry written after a cross country flight and far too much Jack Daniels. I reserve the right to delete it in the morning...]
It's raining. God, I haven't heard rain in... well, long enough to forget how great it sounds. But now I'm hungry for weather... I want thunder, yeah, and lightning... the big crack and boom. That's weather right there, good stuff. But for now just the sound of rain falling and the occasional -drip- as it falls from the eaves... that's enough.
I can hear the trains as they roll by. I remember those trains from my youth. There is something so comforting hearing them roll by in the middle of the night , loaded with steel. It sounds cliche but I can tell by the distance of the lonesome whistle what street they are crossing. This blue collar town, in the middle of the rust belt, how I couldn't wait to get the fuck out, now as an adult, it's all so sentimental.
Back in my room. Well, not my room anymore.
I won't get into very much detail about the flight back except to mention an interesting encounter at TGIFridays during my layover. Some fucked up guy, not drunk fucked up, some other kind of fucked up, decided that he wanted the woman sitting next to me at the bar. She = pretty, blonde, alone.
So he came over and just stood there. All creepy and way to close like. Not saying a word. He was nicely dressed in a suit, but had that "I'm middle management sales and I hate my life" kinda look about him... When I asked if I could help him with something he just blankly stared at me and pointed at the woman as if to say.. "How much for the girl?" I just stared back at him in disbelief. Thankfully, after about 2 minutes of "way too close creepy staring guy" an employee saw what was going on and dragged him away. So I struck up a conversation with pretty lady.
(Hey, gimme a break. After creepy guy, I had an opening that might have led to another hole punched in my mile high club card okay?)
Me: "That was wierd"
Pretty Lady: "Yeah, I'll say"
Turns out the pretty lady sitting next to me was on my flight to small town USA and we went to the same junior high, small world yada yada... I escorted her to our gate and discovered that our flight was delayed. So I invited her back to the bar thinking that creepy guy had to be gone by now, only to walk up and see him being led to one of those glorified golf carts by two TGIF employees. That guy is going to wake up tomorrow and wonder why the hell he's not in Buffalo.
Note to self: No matter how bad life gets, don't take two xanax and go to TGIFridays at an airport and have 3 beers. No good can come from it, except you might get a ride in one of those carts!
Did I mention the graduation party down the street tonight where my mom decided to stand at the end of the driveway staring the kids down? Love that!
TGImp3F
Gonna kick off my shoes and run in bare feet where the grass and the dirt and the gravel all meet. Going back to the well gonna visit old friends and feed my soul... Where the Blacktop Ends
I know, I've been on a country kick the past couple of weeks...sue me. See you in 10 days. I'm outta here.
May 29, 2003
It's an eBay world
And we're just livin' in it.
I made a joke today in an email to Natalie about the fact that my BlogShares portfolio had now grown to 4.1 Million **Pretend** Dollars and wondered if perhaps it was something I could sell on eBay.
Key-Rist. People will buy anything. Check that. People will SELL anything. Hmmm... who couldn't use an extra $50...
Aiyaiyai...
Trying to get ready to leave town for 10 days is a BITCH. I have so much work (work work) to settle up on, laundry to do and errands to run before tomorrow morning. It's a bit overwhelming. I'm always afraid I am going to totally forget something and I'll only remember once I'm on the plane somewhere over Colorado. Damn it. Oh well, that's what FedEx is for I guess.
So with all of this to do, what am I doing instead? Sitting here procrastinating by farting around on the online and posting silly links to my blog. My friends wife is right... Blogging is stupid. But ya know what? Stupid is as stupid does... Oooooh, looook... updated blogs! I wonder what's going on over at Head Rush.
Pick your own M&M colors!
via the missus
Yet another golf game
Pointless Penguins click and drag to make the peguins dive into the water. Don't ask, I don't know why.
I am 30.96647% - Total Geek. Man, I thought I was geekier than that... Take the Geek Test. All the cool geeks are doing it...
May 28, 2003
4 months of finding shade
It's hot. Motherfucking 114º hot. Someone tell me again why, of all the beautiful places on this earth, I've chosen the devils anteroom? In 10 minutes I have venture out onto the surface of the sun and attempt to operate a vehicle that's been baking in the driveway all day. Where the hell did I put those oven mitts?
I can't wait for Friday. I'm off to the beautiful Great Lakes for 10 days. It's only 78º there. Hell that's practically sweater weather!
In honor of our first 110+ day, an oldie but a goodie...
You know it's summer in the desert when:
-- Your car overheats in the driveway
-- Someone wearing oven mitts while driving is clever
-- A swamp cooler is not a happy hour cocktail
-- Vehicles with open windows automatically have the right of way
-- You discover that it only takes two fingers to drive your car
-- The pool is warmer than you are
-- You can make sun tea instantly
-- People with black cars or who have black upholstery must be from out-of-state or nuts
-- The best parking place is determined by shade instead of by distance
-- You can finish a Big Gulp in 5 minutes and go back for seconds
-- The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one
-- You burn your hand opening the car door
-- Less than 30 SPF is a joke and you wear it just to go into the Circle K
-- "But its a dry heat" is received with as much enthusiasm as "but she's got a great personality"
May 27, 2003
May 26, 2003
Idle hands are the devils workshop...
This weekends Too Much Time on Your Hands Award goes to... Me!
Presenting, Cleaning Mambo
2MB Quicktime Movie
May 24, 2003
Moral dilemma
Is it wrong to use your neighbors wireless network if yours is down? I don't even think he's up yet...
May 23, 2003
TGImp3F
Three days without punchin' a time clock, three nights going non-stop. No work and all play. I don't have to be me 'til Monday... make that Tuesday.
Friday Linkfest
Jenny the Yorki in Pool Patrol. Be afraid... be very afraid!
Mmm More Pie! Pie Eating Contest Can you finish the pie in 15 bites?
Gaytrix Reloaded What a total rip off of Queer Duck! And not nearly as funny (imho).
Your All Gay Isn't is supposed to be "spelt" Euro Gay? Oh piss off...
I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism Very funny cyber...
via murphys law
Hey! You! Get offah my Cloud!
Art or Crap? You think you know yer art, eh picasso? Give it a go...
via b3ta
Ah, the dreaded Comic Sans - bane of every graphic designers existence.
via b3ta
May 22, 2003
The Treatment
MJ was a spa girl this week.
Since moving down here to the surface of the sun, I've had to battle a few annoying personal hygiene issues. One being that I have extremely dry skin and my feet tend to develop cracked heels, which left unchecked can become extremely painful. Though it has been suggested many times, I have never in my life had a pedicure. I know... the shock! And so begins my spa adventure...
On Tuesday the missus had a dentist appointment down in Palm Desert, which technically is only about 10 miles away, but it feels like 100 miles. Since we were both making the trek trip, I thought, hey why not get a massage while I am down in the land of spas? And I did. And it was good.
During the massage I began thinking how wonderful it felt and how I rarely treat myself to such extravagances and I should really do these things more often. Yeah, that's it... I deserve it! So when I had finished my massage, I booked what is known in the industry apparently as a "mani-pedi" (I love the sound of it!) and I was very excited. So excited that I told every person I ran into that I was getting my first "mani-pedi" and everyones reaction was exactly the same... "Oh my GOD! You're going to love it! You're going to get addicted to them! I love the part where they blah blah blah blah blah..." Needless to say all this talk brought my excitement to a fevered pitch. What have I been missing my whole life?!?
So this morning I awoke at an ungodly hour to "prepare" for my treatment. Of course I had to give myself a manicure and pedicure before I went in there. Not to mention shaving and all that... Kind of like cleaning the house for the housekeeper... Even though my feet were a disaster, I didn't want them to think I was a total slob!
I'll spare you the details since most of you already know what is involved with such procedures and I'll cut to the chase...
It wasn't all that. I mean, I'm sure it was a top of the line mani-pedi as mani-pedi's go. My hands and feet have never been softer and so well groomed, but it just seemed like a whole lot of hoohah hoopla. One cream after another... the exfoliation and the whole wax thing (which was my favorite part), the buffing, the fluffing, the chit chat... It seemed like an awful lot of effort to go through when I know that after two or three days in our now searing heat (we hit 109º yesterday - fuck me) my hands and feet are going to be a mess again.
Maybe it's just a social thing that feminine ladies of leisure enjoy and I'm just a butch idiot. The technician (is that what they are called?) was hilarious and I had a great time. But sitting here now looking back on the whole experience, would I go have another one? I don't think so... I think I just need to take better care of my hands and feet. Maybe buy a friggin $2 pumice and an emory board or something... wait a minute... I have a belt sander out in the garage... yeah, that could work! Butch Pedicures with Power Tools! I think I'm onto something here...
May 21, 2003
Here we go again...
Phone rings at 6:45 PM Last night
Me: Hello?
My Cousin: Is this Rescue Kitty 911?
Me: Depends on who's calling...
My Cousin: Sophie (her dog) found a kitten in the back yard! I don't know what to do!
Me: :: sigh:: I'll be right over...
So the missus and I went into rescue mode. Grabbed the gloves and a carrier and headed over not knowing what we would find.
There he was hiding behind an oleander. When we walked up, he jumped right out at us. We looked around for the others but none were found. He must have wandered off. After some careful tag teaming, we snatched him up and sped him away to the feral rescue halfway house, our guest bathroom. He's in great shape and eating well. A little lonely and scared but within no time he was letting me hold him. Damn it if he isn't just cutest thing. And bonus! He is identical to the ones we just adopted out so I don't have to make a new flyer!
So once again I say to you dear readers, if anyone is interested, drop me a line
May 19, 2003
Random Monday Linkage
Drive-By eBay Feedbacking Andy46477
Stardust I died before I finished the game. I feel bad for the retarded rabbit.
Oh. My. God. Some guys will screw anything. And then put a manual on the web to teach other guys how to fuck a car. This is a Darwin Award waiting to happen.
I'm living proof that you do not have to win the lotto
via forty six and two
May 16, 2003
TGImp3F
Hey, it's Friday! Now get the hell outta here because we are far to young and clever
adjust volume accordingly
Mmmm Pie.
StrongBads Teen Girl Squad!
Teen Girl Squad Numba One
Teen Girl Squad Numba Two
Teen Girl Squad Numba Three
I don't know why these made me laugh so hard.. I think it was the possum.
9 Types of Girlfriends
via presurfer
Mmmm Pie in a Jar!
He-nails or She-nails? I scored a pathetic 9-16...
In other news:
The kittens have left the building. I repeat, the kittens have left the building. All four have found homes. When Will came over last night to pick up kitten # 3 (the little girl) he couldn't bear to separate her from her brother and in a split second decision, decided to take both. Will was briefly concerned about what his partner would say but quickly decided that he would get over it once he saw both of them together.
I don't like split second decisions when it comes to adopting animals so I am not saying that the last one has been officially adopted until Monday. But in the meantime - we have a kitten free zone here. 2 kittens went to one home and the other two went to another home. That is the worlds best case scenario. We couldn't be happier. We miss them horribly but I'm sure they have already adjusted and were busy biting the ankles of their new owners by midnight. I didn't call them nippers for nothing!
In other other news:
I gotta get out more... this makes two nights in a row that I've had blogging dreams. One involved a fellow blogger and the other involved the blog itself. It's freakin' me out. It's wrong I tell ya, just wrong.
So in order to counter act the effects and hopefully purge my brain of dream fodder, I must resist the urge to blog and blog surf this weekend. Talk amongst yerselves... And stay the hell outta my dreams will ya?!? Yer creeping me out!
May 15, 2003
Urban Golf
Oh man... I have half a brain (no news there) to head up to SF this weekend and play a few holes. North Beach - Nine Holes - Nine Bars
I've been robbed!
Apparently the good folks over at Mandarin Design have stolen from me, but I can't figure out what the hell they lifted! They didn't cop a feel, I know that much! This is gonna drive me nuts... Regardless, I'm honored they found something worthy of an act of thievery.
Total Eclipse of the Heart
Turn around bright eyes... every now and then I fall apart!
Sorry, just having a little Bonnie Tyler moment there. Don't forget to check out the Total Lunar Eclipse tonight. On the west coast it starts around 7:30 pacific or so. I dig this planet.
Soulmate Calculator
The first time I completed the questionnaire, I wasn't very picky, except for the whole female thing... Well and preferably not 120 years old...
"You have to meet 55 American singles"
Then I got picky...
"You have to meet 930,165 American singles"
Damn - that's buying a lot of cocktails... Good thing I found my honey already!
Good lord... this woman has lost her mind, er, glasses
Speaking of nutcases... Meow!
last 2 links via B3ta
In other news: The Alien in My Neighbors Yard has been updated for those of you following the progress of the freaky agave bloom (also known as the Century Plant). It continues to grow and has now sprouted arms!
May 14, 2003
Empty Nest Syndrome
Well, today is a big day for three of our four kittens. They are going to their new homes. There's no way in hell we could keep them, but still we are sad to see them leave. They are a little young to be leaving the nest, but they are fat and healthy and we decided the sooner they get adjusted to their new homes the better.
We tried not to get attached. We didn't name them, just assigned nicknames to identify them. But then nicknames get nicknames and before you know, we'd named them. And now we have to deal with the separation anxiety.
Two boy kittens (Chef Novi and The Philosopher [my fav... shh don't tell the others]) are going to the same home, which is great. These two will need each other. The guy who adopted them does not currently have any other animals. He's had cats before and has missed having them around and definitely wanted two no matter what. He understands that they will need each other to stay occupied and social.
The other kitten is going to the home of two great men and their son. They already have two cats, an older female and a younger male, but they recently lost the young males playmate. So they are taking the little female kitten (a.k.a. Bikini Fellini). I think she's going to do great there.
That leaves one special little fella who still needs a home. Seeing as they are only 6 1/2 weeks old, we still have plenty of time to find him his person.
I'm gonna miss having the little nippers around... ::sniff::
How about some random linkage to ease the pain?
The Daily Show Clip Archives
6ixel addictive little pixel platform game.
When I was Little
via the missus
And Now... Stupid People Dancing!
Safety Dance (if only he had the hat...)
Flash Flash Revolution Try for yourself.
May 13, 2003
[insert witty title]
Hey kid! Go brew a batch for your Aunt MJ... A primer from the good folks at Nestle!
Jack serves it up at Jack in the Box
Supreme Golf Excellent golf game. This aint no mini golf...
It's stuck in my head. And I'm a sharing kinda gal. Make a little birdhouse.mp3 in your soul.
Audio Art: Distance an mp3 collage.
May 12, 2003
Monday MishMash
Smashing! Nifty little breakout game.
Why I will never have children: Reason #483
This may feel a little cold. Sensual Steel not work safe
Survivor: Damn it! Once again, I'm completely stunned by the Survivor outcome. How Jenna pulled that one out of her ass I'll never know. How she got 6 votes is totally beyond me... Did anyone else notice that she and Matt could not keep their hands off each other during the reunion segment? There's a story there! Even though he didn't win a million bucks, hopefully Matt's getting his share if you know what I mean.
Kittens: We have homes for 3 of the 4 kittens! They should be starting their new lives later this week. Now we just have to find that special person for the last little nipper.
May 11, 2003
TV Night
My survivor pick? Matthew. Simple - Butch and Jenna will never make it and Rob has fucked over everyone on the jury. By default, Matthew, while a tad psycho will take home the bucks. Rob second place.
Also, if you happen to be flipping channels - Anna Anna Glama Slamma Nicole Smith was in town a few weeks ago raising hell at Atlas and the Tropics. I think the episode airs tonight.
Is that my mother on the phone?
Happy Mothers Day to all you moms out there. I've been trying to get through to my mom, but I think my siblings are tying up the lines.
My mom has never wanted to make a big deal out of Mothers Day. It is a rather made up holiday. Her mother, in contrast, whole heartedly embraced the idea of having a day All About Her. The flowers, the cards, the brunches, the attention. She milked it. It drove my mom crazy. So rather than make a big todo, we simply call and tell her we love her. But then we do that all the time anyway. It's the days that aren't Hallmark Holidays that we need to remember our mothers and thank them, whether they are still with us or not. A mothers sacrifice is inspiring and I stand in awe of my mom everyday.
Now if my friggin' brother would only get off the phone so I can tell her that...
May 10, 2003
Oh what a night!
I think. I woke up this morning with a half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the night stand, an empty box of donuts on the living room floor, and my wife naked except for her earrings. Niether of us can explain it...
Trying to piece together the events of last night through the vodka haze, I remember that the gallery opening was a huge success. Hundreds of people lined up down the block to get in. I've never seen anything like it here in Palm Springs. There were photographers there from the local press (I hope to god I'm not in any fucking pictures). We somehow ended up at Spencers, where apparently we thought more alcohol would be a great idea. I must have had a brief moment of sanity because my car is not in the driveway, so it must still be downtown. I think I'd better go fetch it. Unfortunately, my sunglasses are in said car and the evil sun god is out there waiting to burn out my retenas.
Oh, and I think I kissed a married straight girl from Houston. Jesus.
May 08, 2003
DNS Weirdness...
Or why I hate technology part 2:
Now see if you can follow me on this one... So tonight I am trying to access this blog via my iBook and I get a "server not found" error. I contact my host's customer service and am informed that my DNS information at WhoIs is pointing to my old host from 4 months ago, and that I would need to contact Network Solutions to figure out what the problem is.
How does that happen? How does DNS info suddenly revert to an old host? So I have written NetSol and will wait to see what they say.
In the meantime, I came into my office here and tried to load this site and guess what? Everything works fine. It's not a cache, it's all here loading just fine. The only thing I can't access is my email server and FTP servers. Now I'm perplexed. Back I go to the iBook and I get nothing - Server not found. Color me confused. I seem to be able to post via MT for the time being from this computer, but if you don't hear from me for a few days... You know that I am lost in Domain Name Hell. I will persevere. I will be back...
May 07, 2003
2 for 1
Quiz Time: What's better than hiring a kick-ass graphic designer (that would be me)? Hiring a kick-ass graphic designer who also happens to be a dyke with power tools and thinks beer is an acceptable form a payment for manual labor.
My clients that I've been doing some identity and signage work for are just 3 days away from the grand opening of the gallery and there's much work to be done. Because I'm such a swell babe, I pitched in last night and will be back there tonight to help finish up some of the grunt work: Ikea-ing (it's a verb) shelving units, mounting the Plasma Screen, replacing door hardware etc...
Why? Because when it comes right down to it, if the space looks good, then my work looks good. If my works looks good, then I get more work. Simple formula, plus I get free beer. Who could ask for more?
I'm not responsible for the website, but check it out: M Modern Gallery - Grand Opening Show on Friday is Shag an artist with whom I've had the pleasure of working with on a couple of occasions now. He's releasing a new serigraph created for the opening titled "Palm Springs After Dark." Shagadellc Baby!
May 06, 2003
Tuesdays Timewasters
Duck and Dive It's a duck. And it dives. It's harder than you might think.
Airballs How many balls can you keep in the air?
Ouch that's gonna leave a mark...
Who Do You Do? E! online quiz... There were some tough calls there folks!
Moolander Collect the cows.
May 04, 2003
Weekend Update
Friday Night Report
Trina Turk had a little shindig at her flagship store here in PS. Special guests included Michelle Phillips and "Your Pal" Hal Lifson. A nice meet and greet mingle while looking at clothes there's no way in hell I could ever wear.
I love Trina, but I hate getting ready for anything hosted by her. She's just so fabulous. All I can to is stare into my closet, a sea of solid blacks and neutrals, poster child for Banana Republic and J Crew that I am, and feel overwhelmed by the sheer lack of any pattern or print. All I have is a hawaiian print shirt and trust me, that would not go over well with this crowd. So I donned my usual uniform: flat front khakis, black linen shirt, black belt and black boots and stood there with my wine in hand and had a great black and khaki time despite the monochromality (hey, I made up a word!) of my being.
Everyone was going out for drinks at Citron a.k.a. The Lemon Bar afterwards. Citron is cool. Hip. Urban even. I love it. I feel like I'm not in Mayberry anymore. Interesting clientele and good mod decor. One problem? The drink prices are outrageous. Maybe I'm a total cheapskate but honestly... $12 for a fucking cocktail? Please. My cousin has thusly dubbed it The Sucker Bar.
So I skipped out, went home and made my own damn Lemon Drop for about 50¢. And it was good.
Saturday Night Report
After another Segway filled day, courtesy of the gentleman on the right (aside: I took that photo while seated on the Tiffany Blue Vespa - with matching helmet), we went over to my aforementioned cousins house for cocktails with the Northenders gang. We all used to get together every weekend (and several times during the week) but lately everyone has been going in 50 different directions and we've not been hanging out like we used to. It was a beautiful warm spring evening and it was great to get together again and share some laughs with good friends.
Dog Island Revisited
Upon further investigation, perhaps Dog Island (that I linked to yesterday) is not such a great idea. I thought it was a rescue facility and I was keen on the concept of letting unadoptable dogs run free as opposed to keeping them in shelters or destroying them. Apparently (thanks to a heads up from Mopsie and the rigorous investigative work of the missus) they actually advocate surrendering your beloved family pet.
Just so we are clear, I do not support that concept!
In Other News:
With a rebuilt the carb, new distributer and fixed brakes (a leak in the vacuum) the convertible is running like a dream. It's time to start working on some of the cosmetic defects on the interior. I need a new dash, some upholstery repair and a friggin radio then she'll be in tip top shape.
The kittens have changed dramatically in the last 3-4 days. They are now 4 1/2 weeks old and off the bottle (unlike me) and eating solid food and drinking water. Praise [insert deity of choice here]. I thought bottle feeding was exhausting but damn... trying to keep track of them (and keep them off the ceiling) is tough! They are jumping, climbing and running all over the place. They're crazy!
Okay off to meet some folks for a late breakfast! Enjoy your Sunday.
May 02, 2003
Grab Bag-o-Links
Play Iraq's Most Wanted Solitaire
Great review site: Kittens as computer peripherals. Check for compatibility, as well as check out various models and different features!
And a little something for my canine loving pals: Dog Island
There's desperate.. and then there's desperate. Took me a minute to figure out how sex with a traffic cone would work... We used to call them psychedelic witches embedded in asphalt.
via exploding cigar
WWJD? What Would Judas Do?
Definitely have to get myself one of these numbers: Nap Straps
May 01, 2003
Why I hate Verizon
And technology in general. No really, I hate it. I love it, but I hate it.
I just spent over an hour and a half on the phone with no less than 5 different people at Verizon Online trying to "diagnose" my intermittent connectivity issue. Once the first two figured out I was on a Mac it was time to play "Pass the Apple" and I went from New Jersey to Atlanta to Dallas.
Basically, they have no idea why my DSL modem keeps dropping me and giving me a bad IP every 4 hours. This is what they told me... no shit...
It could be a modem issue. Or it might be a network issue if I saw a lot of Verizon trucks in the neighborhood. Wha? You want me to walk around my block looking for fucking TRUCKS?!? Granted, I could probably use the fresh air but aren't YOU supposed to know these kinds of things? So if I didn't see any trucks, it was probaly a hardware issue and I would need to buy a new modem. That final bit of advice came from the last person I talked to, a very nice gay boy in Dallas. He gave me some shopping tips too - I'm not kidding. He must have thought... Oh the poor lesbian, I bet she wears sensible shoes too...
I have a better idea.. Why don't I call up Time Warner instead?
Wrasslin' Kittens
They grow up so fast ::sniff::
We're still looking for homes for four these little guys (and gal) They should be ready leave the nest in about 2-3 weeks.
