Friday Fishwrap

TGImp3F

Hey - It's Friday, and this life is too short - so say what you want...

Powerless - Nelly Furtado

I Gotcher Links Right Here

Media Mix
What could happen? Long and large video clip but wait for it... wait for it! Oh yeah, your tax dollars paid for their education.
via oddgirl 14MB Windows Media Player required

Get Smart Gets an M-Life (Quicktime)

Fun and Games
Trapped 4. A cool little maze game.

Guts. I guess those years of playing Space Invaders paid off! The title is misleading I thought it was Guts.

Oddities:
Smoke

These dolls freak me right the hell out: ZWERGNASE PUPPEN I'm going to have nightmares now. Just thought I would share.

Vedy Interesting... Here's one for Grey Bird: Parrot's oratory stuns scientists

House Blog

New pics are up on the house blog.

Blogging on Thin Ice

Life is short - Live dangerously.

A quick spin through the old blogroll this morning finds a lot of folks none too happy about the current deep freeze. Well, except this nut case. She loves it. Dare I even link to my current forecast? Sure why not - you can take it!

When talking with my mom the other day about the cold in Michigan, I mentioned that it had gotten a little chilly here too. "Chilly? Tell me what's chilly..." she said in that 'you've got to be kidding me' tone... I sheepishly mentioned that it had dipped into the 60's and we've been running the furnace at night. Brrr. Nothing like a roaring fire and warm fuzzy sweater to take the edge off 52º!

Ooh, look at the time - I gotta go!

In Other News:
The worlds most misleading URL: http://cummingfirst.com/
via the morning fix

Incommunicado

I have a significant troika happening right now that prevents me from surfing or generally enjoying being online that much:

1) Major Job is going through prepress at the moment. Much proofing and tweaking and driving back and forth across town on the spur of the moment.

2) House Renovation: I'm putting in a minimum of 5-6 hours a day across the street.

3) My inability to stay awake after 6:00pm.

I'll update soon - I swear!

In the mean time, check out the new radio spots from Skyhigh Airlines.
via the missus

House Blog

Day Five photos are up.

TGImp3F

Hey - It's Friday, so get outta here cuz it's my honey's birthday and we like to roll the windows down, turn the radio up and push the pedal to the ground.

Smooch!

Penny and Me - Hanson

I'm just waiting for the hanson comments to start rolling in... go ahead - I can take it.

What? No triple word score?

Pholph's Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 32. What is your score? Get it here.

via jozjozjoz

Batter Up! - When this first loaded, I was a tad concerned about what could happen here... But trust me - go for the line drive and try and catch a few bounces and slides. My greatest distance was 316.3.
via kellie at sorting thoughts

From the mouths of babes:
A third grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

1. Better to be safe than...
2. Strike While the...
3. Never underestimate the power of... etc...

Their insight may surprise you.

1. Better to be safe than punch a 5th grader.
2. Strike While the bug is close.
3. Never underestimate the power of termites.
4. You can lead a horse to water but how?
5. Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.
6. No news is impossible.
7. A miss is as good as a Mister.
8. You can't teach an old dog new math.
9. If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.
10. Love all, trust me.
11. The pen is mightier than the pigs.
12. An idle mind is the best way to relax.
13. Where there's smoke there's pollution.
14. Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
15. A penny saved is not much.
16. Two's company, three's the Musketeers.
17. Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed.
18. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your nose.
19. None are so blind as Helen Keller.
20. Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.
21. If at first you don't succeed, get new batteries.
22. When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way.

In other news:
Another update over at the Houseblog.

Don't Cha Just Hate It?

...when you reach down to adjust your chair and you hit the "raise/lower" rather than the "tilt" lever? Yeah, me too.

Whoosh. Damn it.

House Blog

New pics are up over at the houseblog. Not a whole lot is new, we're just getting started. Oh yeah, and I've switch from those annoying expanded entries to pop-up images.

Tuesday Timewasters

Snakes An animated film based on a woodcut by M.C. Escher. Gorgeous, unless of course snakes freak you out.

Feeling clever?
Below are four (4) questions. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. Okay? Let's find out just how clever you are at the moment. Ready?

First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
click for answer

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
click for answer

Third Question:
Very tricky maths! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 30.
Add another 1000.
Now add 20.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 10.
What is the total?
click for answer

Hmm. Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?

Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters:
1. Nana,
2. Nene,
3. Nini,
4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
click for answer
quiz via email

I am totally hooked on Alchemy

Oh yeah, and the finalists are in at Bush in 30 Seconds
via the missus

In other news:
I've recently found out yesterday when I designed an invitation that (unbeknownst to be) in 4 weeks I am participating in a group show with the likes of Shepard Fairey, Shag, and Tim Biskup. Holy Crap! Okay, think homer, think...

We started ripping stuff out yesterday. Pics coming tonight.

Weekend Report:

I'm still recovering - I'm just not sure from what... I'm at a critical juncture in a large collateral project (68 page brochure). Final proofs were supposed to go to the client and then to prepress on Friday COB. Friday around 2:00, I'm set to output everything and whammo - my printer suffers an "extreme paper jam malfunction". Bastard. After 3 hours of dicking around with it I almost chucked the fucker out the window. I'd had it and as far as I was concerned it could lie there bleeding and writhing clicking ramming jamming while it died a slow and painful death. That's what you get for abandoning me in my time of need. I'm already behind because of last weeks unexpected trip back east.

Also on Friday our good friend Jennie arrived in the morning. She was in town for a "planning session" (cough cough) for her AIDS LifeCycle support crew. These guys (9 guys and Jennie - Leah is riding again this year) are amazing. The Roadies work so hard yet manage to keep not only themselves but also all of the riders cracking up, not to mention setting up and breaking down each rest stop, every day of the ride. Each rest stop is a different theme. For example, in the past they've done Hot Cops, Pilgrams, CowPokes, Ambiguously Gay Duo(s), and Hooters Girls among others. I forget - there are so many... So anyway - they all came to Palm Springs to "plan" this years themes. I mean let's be honest here - how many folks go on vacation to plan and scheme their volunteer drag outfits? Only this fabulous group from SF! I happen to know what a few of the themes are going to be this year but I've been sworn to secrecy. It's the rules.

Thus my conundrum on Friday: large project going completely FUBAR while big fun is in town. Hmm. What to do? Not much choice in the matter really - there was no way work was going to resolve itself until Saturday morning when Office Max opened up so that I could go whip out the Amex and buy a new printer. Let's have a cocktail!

Friday Night Report: Drinks and dinner at Hamburger Mary's (quickly becoming the new hangout). Despite being kicked off of our table prematurely as a favor to the owner, we had a great time. I was pawed heavily by an over the top perky hostess who had a thing for my suede jacket. Followed by the ever popular nightcap at Toucans. Before heading over to Toucans the missus decided wisely to head home but I was on the party train for the full ride. I'm not sure what time we left Toucans but I think Jennie and I were the last one's in our bunch still standing (or staggering as it were). I was then faced with yet another dilemma - cab it four long blocks home or walk? We walked. Given our state, I'm surprised we weren't stopped by the cops - you can get a ticket for that right? Drunk walking? And Jennie, bless her femme heart, made the whole walk in her killer fuck-me boots.

Saturday - Spent the whole day working after purchasing the aforementioned emergency replacement printer. Well, kind of working. I'm so used to plug and play with peripherals on my OS X mac that I was tearing my hair out after 3 hours of trying to get the damn thing to print anything from OS 9. HP is out to get me. They hate me. They are laughing at me! Bastards! Around 3:00 - finally, success. But it takes a while to print 68 pages in hi-res color. Unfortunately, I couldn't go anywhere because who knew what gremlins lurked inside. So I sat, and waited, and watched... Beyond boring. And it was a gorgeous day - 80 degrees, sunny. Sigh. I think I got 30 pages of the book printed before it was time for dinner.

Dinner at El Mirasol. Fantastic and packed as always. It being a 3 day weekend there were a lot of people in town. I ran into some folks I hadn't seen in a while. It was nice to catch up. Many margaritas and side splitting laughter (try having dinner with 16 extroverted gay men on vacation and not die laughing) the boys wanted to go to Hunters. Hunters! The it spot for cruising half naked sweaty men, on a 3 day weekend. Not high on my list of destinations but given the company, it was sure to be fun regardless. Okay - just one drink.. 2 hours later we made or way home and I fell into bed completely exhausted. Stress, big mexican dinner, too much laughter and booze can do that to a girl.

Sunday was all work - all the time. I can't wait to get this project off my plate. I have demolition work to do! There are trains to be dealt with, unknown fluids to be irradiated, kitchen and baths that are begging for a sledge hammer! Let's get the show on the road! Sigh, but first - I need to make some money... Grrr. This grindstone is killing me!

Satisfaction

It's almost official. We're set to close escrow on the shit-hole across the street tomorrow morning, when we will officially own the nastiest damn house on the block. We've ordered the dumpsters and will begin the fun job of stripping the house back to its former self... Speaking of stripping the house...

MissCrankyRants (a frequent lurker) sent me a little motivational quicktime piece, you know - to help inspire me. Problem is, I'm a little distracted now... What was I saying? I feel dizzy. Oh yeah - Watch and learn kids. Watch and learn.

Satisfaction
(not particularly work safe, unless you're a Hooters girl selling power tools)

Beware of Flying Babies

I woulda loved to have been at the pitch meeting for this video... Skydiving Babies... I'm suddenly quite thirsty for some reason...

I want a Honkey Donkey! Please? Can I have one?!

During this current Mad Cow scare, consider the other red meat Elk. I've actually had elk steaks - they're not bad!

Jesus will know if you cheat

And so will I.

But I hate waiting too... Anyone interested in the correct answers to todays "How well do you think you know MJ" quiz - they're down below. To those of you thinking about reading the answers first - where's the fun in that? Just take the damn test first - then come read the answers.

How many cats? Let's see... Not including the feral colony there's
Mouse, Blue and Jinx - Miss Pearl and the Sherriff - yup they're still here -
Bailey sigh... our problem child - and finally there's Smidge (and Mouse again - the camera hog) which makes 2 more than 5.

Saturday Nights? Only one person has missed this one so far... Just do a search for "Weekend Reports" (A Good Book was worth 5pts)

What kind of car?

What color?

Window or Aisle? Logic would conclude that I like to have easy access to the drink cart.

Favorite team? If I could have given negative points to those of you who answered Wolverines, I would have ... bastards.

Drink of choice? I admit - that was a tough one - and yes Keith, there should have been an "all of the above" option - except wine. So give yourself an extra 5 if you guessed beer (which most of you did...)

What magazine DON'T I subscribe to... Tricky... Almost everyone's picked Esquire. Wrong! Thanks for playing, please try again. I love Esquire. In fact, they just called here asking for Mr. [Blank] wanting "him" to renew. I told them I would relay the message... The answer is Architectural Digest. Despite my interest in architecture there's not much architecture in AD - it's mostly interiors.

Mac or PC? Please... I've owned a Mac since 1989.

I've never been to Italy. I have been to Me...

We Now Return You

To our regularly scheduled programming...

So apparently while I was out of commission, the "Friends Test" was making the rounds... Better late than never I always say... So, How well do you think you know MJ?

For the musically inclined, check out Pianographique

I hadn't seen this in a while, but thanks to Spindlonfür for reminding me about it...
Gay Boyfriend by the Ukes of Hazzard.

Who wants to be a milllllionaire? As the missus astutely pointed out - it's just as annoying as the tv show!

It's all the rage these days: The Google Dance (frankly, who gives a rats ass... really?)

Weekend Report:

I'm writing this about 35,000 feet above Texas. We are finally headed back home after 5 tough days in Philadelphia. Chuck was in his early 40's. It was a sudden massive heart attack. He was the kind of guy that grabbed life by the horns and rode it for everything it has to offer. Makes me stop and take stock of how I'm living my life. He leaves behind a beautiful wife and two small boys who, based on their incredible handling of the situation, share his love of life and will carry on with gusto.

In perfect Chuck style - a wonderful celebration of life for the biggest hearted guy I know. While there were tears, there was also a lot of laughter and love and partying. Chuck lived larger than life and his funeral demonstrated just how many lives he touched.

So with that, here's my Weekend Report:

Thursday Night: Arrived in Philly around 11:00 at night after an uneventful flight. We were met at the airport by Aunt C and Uncle P. We headed back to the house and unpacked and tucked ourselves in ... it was going to be a busy weekend.

Friday Report: The viewing was in New Jersey. Not being that familiar with the route, we followed the rest of the family over. We arrived at about 6:15 to a full parking lot and a really long line. Caught up with the other family members who'd driven in from up and down the east coast. And then paid our respects. Friday was tough - open casket and all that. Over 400 people showed up. Nancy and the two boys were simply amazing. Somehow they hung in there for over 3 hours in the receiving line. There were two large boards filled with pictures. Pictures of the family reunions and summers at the shore. Pictures of his friends and teammates. Pictures of Chuck years and years ago with the biggest ass Magnum PI mustache I never knew he had.

In traditional Irish Catholic style, when all was said and done, it was decided that a bunch of us would head over to his favorite bar to toast the mans life. We walked in and the place was PACKED - wall to wall people, but ever the eagle eye the missus ended up scoring a table for us. The band was pretty funny in the 70's-80's retro rock kinda way... The lead singer did an accopella, slow and heartfelt version of Billy Joel's "Only the Good Die Young" as a dedication to Chuck - and yes, it was the first time Billy Joel has ever made me shed a tear. On the other hand, ya couldn't help but laugh too. We met a lot of Chucks friends, fellow softball teammates, and bar buddies. It was good to be there.

Not having anyone to lead us back to PA, I had to do my best to recall the way home. We did okay except that New Jersey has a very strange habit of every once in a while putting the exits on the left just to keep ya on your toes I guess. I wasn't paying close enough attention and so we made a slight detour through the lovely town of Mt. Ephram. A quick stop at the 7-11 with two drunks guys fighting over beef jerky later and we were back on the road headed in the right direction. Earlier in the evening, I was warned "Whatever you do, don't get lost in Chester" but that's exactly what happened. It wasn't THAT bad, I've seen/lived in worse areas, but I didn't want to have to stop and ask for directions at 1:00 in the morning either ... I'm fairly certain that Chuck had a hand in making sure we got home alright that night.

Saturday Report: We headed back over to NJ in the morning for the service, which was beautiful and Bernie delivered a very moving eulogy. I had to bite my tongue though when, as usual, the priest informed everyone that communion was reserved for "Practicing Catholics" only. I never got that... I was baptized and confirmed in the Episcopal church but I guess that the Catholics have a corner on the body of christ market... so I crossed my arms and received the blessing from a guy in a suit. As the missus said, it doesn't count unless it's from a priest anyway...

We headed for the cemetery and I'd forgotten how cold 6º really is... it was fucking cold. Beyond cold. Not exactly the kind of day you want to be standing graveside. But there we were - saying our final goodbyes. Not to put too much gallows humor in this but when the priest sprinkled the holy water, I was sure it was going to freeze in midair and tiny ice cubes would clink down onto the casket. It didn't. But while we were all involuntarily shivering in the mind numbing cold, the priest was there with no coat, no gloves without so much as a single shiver or chattering of the teeth. I don't know how they do that.

Afterwards, we went back to the bar where everyone (200+ people maybe?) had lunch and several drinks, made toasts - his son, Chuck III - who's about 10 years old, brought everyone to tears with his stories of his dad. Of course, they played the fart machine through the PA system. The missus and I had brought the fart machine with us from CA. Chuck loved the fart machine - in fact, so much so that a few people were tempted to put in the casket with him and set it off when someone walked up. Common sense unfortunately got the better of us, but I'm betting he would have loved it.

After lunch, a bunch of us went back to their house, more beer was consumed and we laughed and told our best Chuck stories. Again. I just have to sit here and smile knowing that Chuck couldn't have planned it any better if he wanted to. It was perfect. Grief, yes. Sorrow, yes - but so much love and laughter, good friends and family. What a measure of a man.

Sunday was spent mostly just hanging out - the missus took me on a tour of her main line roots, we visited with a few folks, then it was back to the house for football, specifically, the Eagles game (or as they say Eggles). Of course I had to bet my father in-law $20 - I took Green Bay. This, as we know, guaranteed a Philly win. If you ever want a team to win - make sure I bet against them. Besides, Chuck was the biggest Eagles fan ever and so they had to win. I shoulda known better - I might have an extra 20 bones in my pocket.

Which brings me to here... 35,000 feet over Texas.

One thing I've taken away from all of this is that life is too short to let precious moments and LIFE pass you by. There is so much in each day that I miss... if I could only take the time to stop and let myself just be... Instead of living in the land of what ifs and shoulda coulda woulda's. I daydream too much. I live in my head too much. I let myself get caught up in how I think my life should be - all the while I've let slip things that are really important but I'm too caught up in myself to notice. I need to stop and acknowledge and thank and live each moment. That's the way it should be. And I promise you Chuck, I will.

Only the Good Die Young - Billy Joel

Death Don't Have No Mercy

That title refers to a great blues song by the Rev. Gary Davis.

I lost someone very dear to me today. Very suddenly. I'm still in a bit of shock and without going into great detail I'll just say I'm headed to the East Coast and unless I find myself alone at a Starbucks with something to say, you won't hear from me.

6 days in and so far, 2004 is off to a really fucking shitty start...

A Soldiers Funeral

On a somber note... I don't usually post these types of stories, but this one really got to me.

While Bush issued an edict banning media coverage of returning coffins, there's a small town in Texas that came up with an incredibly moving tribute during the funeral procession of one of their hometown boys.
via the missus

In other political news...
I must be on the slow train, but apparently Britney Spears got married as a joke in Vegas and then got an annulment. Ah, the old wedding as PR ploy... any print is good print blah blah blah. I won't go into the whole "sanctity of marriage" thing because I might finally blow a fucking gasket.
via Solonor: Sunday Sermon 2a

Weekend Report:

Friday Night: Being a lesbian with power tools I am often summoned in cases of extreme pot rack emergencies. I assisted Uh-oh Him in what mercifully turned out to be just a mild case of "I need to put the thingy up here, but I don't have a whatchamcallit". I am always glad to be of service and thank god I was around or there might tragically be a gay man sans pot rack. We can't have that! As payment I received the usual, a stiff drink.

We headed over to Toucans and then opted for dinner at the newly opened Hamburger Mary's with Itchyrae. The place was PACKED as it has from the day she opened her doors. It's nice to see this joint succeed. We've desperately needed a queer friendly casual burger joint in this town.

Saturday Report: I woke up rather early to the complete horror that we were ::gasp:: out of coffee!!!. Nothing can ruin this girls perfectly good Saturday Morning like having to somehow gather my wits, operate heavy machinery and actually interact with other human beings before 7:00 am.

The store was totally empty except for the truly strange (Honestly?! Who does their weekly shopping at 7:00 on a Saturday? Never mind - I'm sure there's a logical explanation). I hazily stumbled the aisles until I found the coffee. In a brilliant marketing ploy, at the end of the coffee aisle they've cleverly placed the Krispy Creme donut display. Blame in on the lack of caffeine, but I was powerless in their presence. As Homer Simpson would say.. "mmm, donuts." So I picked a few up and headed for the check out.

In a cruel twist of fate, only one of the 240 registers was open. And it was the register furthest from the door. I jokingly mention this particular irony to the all too chipper woman at the register (trying to be witty but of course, just sounding like an idiot..) And you know what she says to me?!?

"Well, if you're going to buy the donuts, the extra walk couldn't hurt ya! Hahahah"

The nerve! Grumble grumble... She's lucky I didn't reach across her little conveyor and rip her to shreds! I went home, made coffee, had two donuts and in order to exact my revenge and burn as few calories as possible, I went back to bed and didn't get up until 2:00pm.

Around 7:00 the Missus went out with some friends, but I opted to stay home. I took a wonderful long hot spa shower around 8:00 and curled up with my book and was asleep by 9:00. Now that's a Saturday my friends.

Sunday Report: Went to the Covina Ikea with my partners in crime Uh-oh and Itchy. Spent way too much money on what must be close to 10,000 tea lights, a folding table, some brilliant storage things (bins? boxes? cloth covered cardboard containers with zippers?) and a glass top for my desk.

The guys had bought too much stuff as well and when we went to load the car, we discovered that there was no way in hell it was all going to fit... Never to be thwarted, and in the finest of Beverly Hillbillies style, we strapped the glass top and an oversized picture frame to the roof of Itchyrae's new used Jaguar. When we hit a bump and heard a distinct clunk on the ride home I was sure the friggin thing had broken into several pieces, but all was fine. Now, if I could only decide what I am going to put in my new storage thingies... I know - tealights!

God I love Ikea - The only place you unconsciously buy things you don't need, but consciously buy the things to store the things you don't need! Those damn Swedes - they know what they're doing!

Can't. Stop. Laughing.

It's been a while since I visited MyJokeMail.com Kid Pictures but he's got some new (to me) stuff up.

update: I initially put up a couple of quotes/pics here but something screwing was going on with the images so you're just going to have to go over there yourself.

TGImp3F

Hey! It's Friday - But it feels like Monday, why is that? Oh well... It's Friday and my WooHoo's a bit worn out, but it still works! (get your mind outta there...)

WooHoo!

Move Your Feet - Junior Senior
delinked

Return to Linkville

Thank GOD they're here! The New Fab 5
via the missus

The Straightmans Guide to Gay Sex
might not be work safe: contains international symbols for gay sex

Egg Launch Click and hold the little guy, aim and fire! Very cute.

For my geekly friends: NCSA MOSAIC Ah good times...

As of late the missus has been inundating me with incredible cute kitten pictures. The kind that make you scrunch up and go "Awwww" (unless of course you eat kittens - then you'd probably go "Yum!" - okay that was wrong, I stole that line from someone but I can't remeber who) So I have no idea where she's been getting them, but I came across this motherlode today.
via b3ta

Here's hoping none of you are at work today! And if you are - keep slackin' baby! That's the spirit!

Sigh

Well there you have it. Another year gone.

MJ was a very well behaved party goer last night and awoke today without a hangover - where did I go wrong? ::scratches head::

In my very own New Years Day tradition, I am making a big fat pot o'chili today, planting my big fat pot o'ass on the couch and watching the Rose Bowl. As much as it pains me to do so, I will root for U of M because us Big 10 folks have to stick together. I'll have to take a shower to wash away that dirty feeling when it's all over - but I cannot in good conscience, support USC. Speaking of good conscience...

I wake this morning - dawn of a new year - with something weighing on my mind. A million bloggers have addressed this issue before, but I am interested to hear what you think. When I say you - I mean all of you; people I know, friends and family, blogging buddies, lurkers and you poor saps who googled "crest white strips problems" sorted through 76 pages of search results, and somehow ended up here. Yeah - you. If you are not comfortable posting a comment - send me an email, there's a link over there on the right.

My quandary? The old bloggers curse... when real life clashes with your blog. Yesterday I received an email from my cousin in which she requested I pull the posts about Christmas dinner at her house that referred to something that was said to her mom at the table.

Granted, I exercised an extreme lack of judgment when I wrote it, fueled by far too much alcohol and yes, I regret poking fun at my 84 year old aunt's expense. But it happened. It was funny. It's real. And last night, for the sake of preserving family harmony, I pulled them. And now I'm a tad resentful because I fear I've set a very bad precedent.

See, word got out a year or so ago about this here blog. There are several people within my close social circle (and a few out in the ether), good friends I've known for years and years, some members - perhaps ALL - of my family, who read this damn thing. Some people read it for the funny links. Some people read it to keep up with what's happening in my life, or what's been happening around town. Some people - jesus, I have no idea why you are here... Perhaps it was your foaming crest white strips, I don't know.

Over the last 2 years, I've started to write more and more about my so-called glamourous life, my foibles, my successes and my failures and that includes references to parties, people and events. Rarely is anything I write serious in tone. I never write anything mean spirited (trust me - I've had my opportunities...). No, what I write is usually funny and it's most certainly always true.

So here's the deal... It's my fucking blog and I'll write what I want. If you don't like what you read here - don't read it. If you don't want to risk the mere idea that I might write something about your party or your dinner or your new outfit or your mom - don't invite me. If you would prefer that I not mention you by name or that I use a pseudonym for you, if you want a little black bar, cops-esque blurring of your face, if you prefer that I exclude you from my photo albums entirely... by all means, I'm pretty accomodating... just ask me. I'll be happy to do so. But if you read something here and feel the need to pick up the phone and call so-and-so to tell them "My GOD - Did you see what MJ wrote about [blank] ?!?!" - don't do it. This is not a forum for fueling rumor mills or idle gossip. Friday Fishwrap is simply the dust bunnies of my brain. Love it or leave it - you came here by choice.

One thing I will heretofore refrain from talking about is work. If you are a client, know that I will not make reference to you, your company or the work I do for you (even if it means I would deprive you of the millions of hits I might send in your direction) because it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I can't afford to be losing any work these days.

So what do you think? Where is the line and did I cross it? Am I doomed to a life as a social outcast? Will you ever invite me out again? Does anyone actually give a shit?

I guess I am going to have to write this up as a formal disclaimer and have everyone sign releases when I go to parties now.. sigh...

Mmm. Chili.