Friday Fishwrap

A Day in the Life: Leap Day

I am already wondering why the hell I am doing this and why the hell I thought anyone would even find it remotely interesting...

6:00AM - Paper

7:00AM - Cheerios

8:00AM - Laundry

9:00AM - Household Maintenance

10:00AM - Auto Zone

11:00AM - Leaky Carburetor

12:00PM - Awning Removal with John

1:00PM - Awning Removal Complete

2:00PM - Injured Thumb and Treatment

3:00PM - Lunch

4:00PM - Shower

And now if you'll excuse me, I am off to watch the Oscars. 5PM-? pics will be posted when I get back. Cheers!

5:00PM - Hamburger Mary's

6:00PM - Oscar Oscar

7:00PM - My Boys

8:00PM - Breaking News: Grocery Strike Over

9:00PM - Rachel

10:00PM - Time to Go Home

A whole host of others who did "A Day in the Life" can be found here.

We Don't Do Dewey

So here's little a funny (to me) story.

I just read a post over at Go Fish about her new library that Mr. Fish is building and thought "Hey! I have the perfect book for her!"

So I go into our library - to find the perfect book about library management - and guess what? I can't FIND IT!

Oh sweet irony...

3.5 years after our move, I'm betting it's still boxed up in the garage with the other 2/3's of our books. Okay, I'll admit it, we're book hoarders. It's times like this that I really miss our big ol' San Francisco house and our walls of books. Everything perfectly organized and just a fingertip away... sigh.

I had a dream

No, not that kind of dream. I had to shake myself awake this morning because there was a 6 piece Tejano band playing at the foot of my bed and they wouldn't SHUT UP!

As far as dreams go, I have no idea what this means... A few years ago I woke up in Minneapolis with a Polka in my head, but this... this is just too much. I think I need help.

The Rule of Law

Are we married? I'm thinking we'll know one way or another by the end of the day...

It's a simple question really. Does the equal protection clause of the California Constitution supersede the Prop 22 amendment to the California Family Code?

California Constitution
Article 1 Sec. 7 (b) A citizen or class of citizens may not be granted privileges or immunities not granted on the same terms to all citizens. Privileges or immunities granted by the Legislature may be altered or revoked.

California Family Code
Section 308.5 Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

3 Don't cha hate it whens...

1) Don't cha just hate it when someone recommends a site or blog to you, and then you click the link, and your browser hangs? You (I) sit there for 25.75 seconds (broadband people - broadband!) before I say fuck it, I'll check it out later. Yeah - you know, you never check it out later... That makes me sad for three reasons. 1) I'm missing some good stuff 2) I can't converse about the content of said site with said friend because I was an impatient fuck, and 3) I wonder how many people pass up Fishwrap because they hang...

2) Don't cha just hate it when you get into the shower and all that's left is a sliver of soap? An itty bitty little flimsy sliver (and this is my fault, the Missus and I have separate bathrooms - secret #287 to a successful marriage) So there you are, soaking wet and a sliver of soap... I hate to say it, but I lost it. Not in the "I'm pissed off, where's my damn soap" kinda lost it... I mean -- I lost the soap!! See, I'm a scrubber. I take the bar and vigorously scrub. Mid-scrubbing I discovered a distinct lack of lather... Holy crap - Where is it? I checked the obvious places (floor of the tub, armpit... um, etc.) but no soap. I have to say this is the first time in my life that I have ever followed a bar of soap to it's er, completion.

3) This "don't cha just hate it" is just for the smokers (but I'm guessing the ex-smokers will sympathize) Don't cha just hate it when you weren't paying attention, you've come home from work, showered (and possibly lost your soap!) then you get all snuggled in your favorite "sit my ass down and have drink" clothes only to check and discover that you only have 3 smokes left. How could I have over looked that? I don't want to "prepare for out" now? I'm comfy! Damn it. I hate that.

So here I sit, thinking that it's taking WAY too long for this to post, ... Is that uh, soap I feel? ... And checking the ashtray trying to find a way to avoid putting on a bra and going to the store tonight... ::sigh::

Finally!

New pics are up over at the House Blog. I have to say we've really been kicking ASS - as a result, my ass really hurts. I just keep telling myself that there'll be a hefty profit when it's all said and done! Well, there better be or my ass won't be the only thing hurting!

The U.S. Constitution

An open letter to anyone supporting a 28th amendment the Constitution of the United States of America to BAN same-sex marriages:

I respectfully request that you read this document and explain to me in clear terms - without using references to God, the bible, or any other Christian reference (see 1st Amendment) - why you support this effort.

I wait for your reply.

Timewaster

Found one: The Scribbler

via meg

Hey Short Stack!

Happy International Pancake Day!

Interesting bit of useless MJ Trivia - My first job was as a waitress at The Pancake Chef in Mackinaw City.

Here's a little thing that's making the rounds... List the first 10 random songs your mp3 player of choice spews out:

Liechtenstein - Zircus
We're Not Right - David Gray
Ramblin Fever - Merle Haggard
Groove Me - King Floyd
Crazy Game of Poker - OAR
Corpus Christie - Robert Earl Keen
Bat out of Hell - Meatloaf
Postcard - Texas
Picking Up the Signal - Son Volt
One Way Out - Allman Bros.

Now I hate the shuffle. I much prefer carefully constructed playlists. However - I might play around with this for a while. It's actually not a bad mix!
via Solonor

In other news:
After finishing the fence and gate yesterday, my sciatica is acting up again. My ass hurts ... I need a Tuesday Timewaster! What cha got for me?!

I got nothin'!

TV Land Unsung Theme Songs. Their version of Bonanza is completely different than the one I sing at the top of my lungs at inappropriate times. Mine goes like this:

Out in the west we're living in the best Bonanza!
With a gun and a rope and a hat full of hope we'll plant our family tree
Hoss and Joe and Adam know
Every rock and pine
No one works, fights or eats like those boys of mine
Bonanza!

Am I insane or does anyone else know this version?

Miss Piggy is trying to get a little publicity too. She recently had her own "wardrobe malfunction" (NSFW - er, I guess..). Is it wrong to get turned on by a muppet? It feels wrong.

Very strange: Age Maps: two photographs of the same person from different periods of time.

In other news:
I'm off to Lowes (woof) to get the rest of the lumber I need to finish the last 12 feet of fencing. If the rain breaks today, I'll take some pics and update the house blog. Ooh look - the sun just came out! Yay!

Oh No You Didunt!

Re: My last governator rant post: State Attorney General Bill Lockyer on Saturday rebuffed Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's demand that he force an end to San Francisco's same-sex marriages, calling the directive political rhetoric.

Mmm. Hmm. Now it's time to play everyone's favorite game "Take a step back!"

I'm sorry - I swear we will soon resume our regularly scheduled programming - it just that, well... c'mon!

Rut-Roh

Pissed off

There are many things that are pissing me off at the moment - allow me to share a few...

I just would like to point out that this creature (via: smacktheweasel) can get married anytime she chooses...24/7... yet mysteriously, her father is troubled but what he sees happening in SF. Yes, I am preaching to the choir but ya know what? It pisses me off. Ya know what else pisses me off (watch out - rant a coming) and I'm stealing this right off a comment I left over at jozjozjoz re: Ahnold's statement that the SF marriages are illegal:

The Governator can say whatever he wants but for the time being- California same-sex marriages are NOT illegal. Not one single court has said as much. Equal protection supercedes Prop 22. Newsom knows this. Ahnold (or his cronies) should do thier homeowrk before making that kind of statement.

In related news. There was an ABC News clip ("Above the Law") that had a 2 sec. snippet of our ceremony at the end which was groovy and all but here's what raised my hackles... the reporter said during the segment, and I quote: "Those getting married here in San Francisco know that they are breaking the law..."

[cough] bullshit [cough]

This is the kind of subliminal subversive reporting that burns my britches. As far as I know, my marriage is still legal. Prove me wrong.

2 Seconds of Fame

And here I thought we didn't have any photographs of our ceremony but thanks to the good folks at ABC News we at least have one!

Many thanks to the fabulous Ms. Zoe for spying this from her hotel room and yelling "OMG! I know those guys!"

The Horror!

Two great tidbits from SF Gate

Mark Fiore The Gay Agenda

Mark Morford Now, *That's* San Francisco!

Get me out of here!

I'm still stuck in the Crimson Room. ::mumble grumble frickin rackafrats::

Grow. I can't seem to get the combination right in order to "trigger off the best sequence of events." Or so sayeth the folks over at b3ta

Ah, the old shell game. 8up I went 6 rounds before I got dizzy and fell off my chair.

This wrong. Just wrong. Flip Flop Socks.

Movie Time!
You know you always wondered what it would look like to watch a fireworks factory burn... C'mon admit it...

Oh! Oh, that hurt, that hurt big time.. Knife Collectors Show.

Okay these guys win pants er, hands down.

Random Art
Pavement Drawings. Check out the 3D images

In Other News
Today I get to build a fence. Or more specifically, today I get to dig holes and set posts to build a fence. Heck's a-poppin' over at the remodel. I'll post pics today or tomorrow.

Oh yeah and [checks watch] Yup - Still married! Woot!

Weekend Report:

I've been sitting here trying to figure out a way to sum up everything that happened in SF. I can't. So you are going to get the blow by blow version. It's a long one, so get your beverage of choice and settle in...

Friday Night Report:
After putting in a full day on the house remodel, we were just getting ready to kick back for the night when I checked the messages. Our best friends, Staz (who I've known for ages and was my best babe at my wedding 9 years ago) and The Engineer had done it. They went to Tiffany, bought the rings and were married at City Hall. We screamed. Ten (give or take ;) years they have been together and they are an amazing couple. We were so happy for them. WooHoo! We toasted our friends even though we couldn't be there in person we were there in spirit!

Saturday Night Report:
Valentines Day - the missus and I don't do a big thing for V-day. Kisses and a little affirmation is all we need. But she did totally surprise me by cooking dinner (let's just say her favorite recipe is toast so I was pretty impressed). We had just finished dinner when the Engineer called and again tried to convince us to make the trip up to SF.

The missus and I talked about it again and decided that despite everything that was going on here at home, the house remodel, etc. we had to do it. This was history in the making and we've worked so hard for marriage rights, we couldn't let this opportunity slide.

A little background here: She and I have been together for over 12 years. In 1995 she and I had our wedding - a rather large affair - in SF. Over 150 people were there to celebrate, my mother walked me down the aisle, her father walked her. The missus wore my mothers wedding dress. - it was our dream wedding. So as far as we are concerned - we've BEEN married for almost 9 years now. This going up to SF bit was an act of civil disobedience. It wasn't really "tying the knot" - it was definitely a civil action. At least that's how I was approaching it Saturday night.

So around 9:00PM I went online and booked tickets on the Alaska 7AM flight to SF with a return on Monday at 7AM. We only packed an itty bitty bag - what did we need really? We were only going to be gone overnight?! Little did we know...

Sunday Report:
5:30AM
The alarm went off and we headed to PSP. The flight was short and the attendants were really great - they gave us a bottle of champagne and wished us a lifetime of happiness. There were only about 12 people on the plane so we took off early and arrived early in SF.

8:00AM
Our friends were still in bed so we snagged a cab back to their house. After some coffee and toast and hearty congrats to my best friends on their marriage, we decided we'd better head down to City hall in case there was a huge line or something. We had no idea that they had turned away hundreds of people the day before.

9:30AM
We arrived to discover a line that wrapped around the entire building. We jumped on the end of the line and figured we would be there for most of the day but certainly we would be clinking glasses by supper time... Not so fast....

There was so much misinformation filtering up and down the line. We had no idea what was accurate and what was not. The line was moving - so we just stayed there. Turns out the line was moving because people were giving up and heading home. They came out and made an official announcement that our chances of getting married today were zero to none. They had turned away folks the day before but gave them tickets to come back on Sunday and if you did not have a ticket - you might as well forget about it. We decided to stay and see what happens.

11:30 AM
The line dwindled but easily 300 people were not budging - including us. This became what the City Hall folks dubbed "The Hopeful Overflow Line" queued up for the Van Ness Entrance. If anything changed - if they decided to stay open late or whatever, we would be the first to get in.

It was fairly clear to the missus and I that we were probably not getting married today but the Engineer and Staz were determined to figure out a way to get us hitched. They began scoping out options on the other side of the building -they tried pulling strings with people they knew inside. We sat in line making phone calls, trying to get in touch with folks we knew in town to at least let them know we were there. (My apologies to those of you we didn't get a hold of - but it was a little crazy.)

1:30PM
The announcement was made that the first 50 couples in the hopeful overflow would get in. The cut off was the woman in the yellow hat - Staz and the Engineers friends Maggie and Janet would be the last couple in on Sunday.

No one budged.

We were determined to stay in line. I began joking that this was like Survivor "Outwit, Outlast, Outplay" - We were getting in that fucking building today damn it! Everyone was so determined. We'd already put in 5 hours and to walk away now seemed like quitting. No way.

All the while we are in line, the stream of honking cars going by seemed endless. Most of them were "Just Married's" waving their pieces of paper. It gave us all hope and reminded us why we were there, but I tell ya, after about 250 of those I was starting to get a little cynical "yeah yeah yeah - I'm happy for ya - congratulations, whatever"

2:30PM
They came out and told us for the 4th time that we were not getting in today and to go home. There would be no camping allowed - don't start lining up because they're not telling us which entrance they'll open in the morning. Any lines forming would be dispersed by the sheriffs. Just go home and come back in the morning - the doors would open at 10:00AM.

No one budged.

By this time, Staz had found where people were queueing up for Monday. No camping you say? Well, until the cops come to disperse the crowd - they were starting to line up at the Polk St. entrance.

3:00PM
They let the first 50 couples in (including Maggie Yellow Hat Babe and her partner Janet!) and locked the doors. We walked around to the Polk St. side where Staz had been all morning and sure enough - there was the line for Monday. We started making plans and debating the whole camping idea.

I admit, the idea of staying out there all night was not the least bit appealing to me. There were a few times during the day that I considered walking away. What I really wanted to do was go have a cocktail with my friends and enjoy what little time we had up there with them. Maybe a nice dinner out or something. It was hard to stay that determined. We had return plane tickets for the morning. We had only left 24hrs of food and water out for the cats. What guarantee do we have that we would even get in tomorrow? None.

4:30PM
It started to drizzle. It became clear that people were setting up camp for the night. Staz had stayed there all day to secure a place so close to the front of the line that I knew we had to stay the night. And by this point I was determined that we were going to fucking get married! I didn't stand out there all day to go home now. No way. Besides - this could be fun! We'll make a party out of it!

I called Alaska and changed our return flight. The Engineer had made a run back to the house for supplies - more chairs, jackets, a deck of cards (poker anyone?) and some umbrellas.

7:00PM
Now was about the time that it hit me... 99.9% of the people who were camping out were DYKES! I was at a loss to find more than one male couple there! As the missus pointed out, had there been a Home Depot around with all these dykes and a little lumber and some duct tape we would have built the most awesome shelters!!

It was still drizzling but not too bad. It was the cold that was getting to me. By this time we had made friends with a lot of folks around us and though I had held it most of the day - I really had to pee and I was starting to get a bit of a headache. About 5 of us made our way over to the Ramada to use the facilities (where they happened to be hosting a Bear (big hairy gay men) Convention - too funny!). On the way back we stopped in at Walgreens to buy some Advil and anything resembling warm blankets. They had just locked the doors but they let us in anyway. Another example of the good will abounding. Supplies in hand we headed back to base camp.

8:30PM
My headache has now turned into what I think must be a migraine. I've never had one before but it was so bad I felt like I was going to vomit. I think that's a migraine...

We began making plans for setting up shifts. Kelly and Hogan arrived, Jennie and Leah were coming down around 9 or 10 - So Staz insisted that the missus and I go back to the house to take a nap, shower etc. while she held down the fort.

When we got back to their house I immediately crawled into their bed and was out like a light.

Monday Report:
12:30AM
I woke up to the sound of pouring rain on the roof. I jumped out of bed, got dressed and insisted that the Engineer take me back downtown. She protested insisting that Staz had everything under control and that we needed a good nights rest for tomorrow but there was no way in hell I was going to let my friends sit all night in the cold and rain so that I could remain warm and dry. The only concession I made was letting the missus stay behind. Being disabled she was much better off at home than on the street. Besides my headache was gone now, I'd just had 3 hours sleep and was ready to relieve my friends.

Before leaving the house we packed up more provisions and I donned 4 layers of jackets and the Engineers motorcycle rain suit... As I'm sure you saw in the pictures, I looked like an inflated pumpkin. But as long as I stayed dry - fuck it, who cares what I look like.

When we arrived it was pouring rain. They had dropped off two Porta-Johns for people (I think the Ramada probably did that because they had enough gayness happening at their hotel - they didn't need a bunch of soggy dykes in the lobby!) Staz was hunkered down under the tarp and there wasn't a whole lot of action - so much for my rousing game of poker idea. Too bad - there was money to be made there!

Kelly and Hogan went home to sleep and shower, they'd be back at 5:30. Leah was snug and asleep in her bivvy further back in the line. Staz refused to go home and stayed with me. God bless her. As an emergency management person - she was in the zone. This was her element. She wasn't going anywhere.

The Engineer adjusted the shelter (very clever use of jumper cables!) to help keep us dry.

2:00AM
Two guys pulled up and brought out two ice chests. One full of hot cocoa and another full of hot oatmeal. I guess they had come by earlier in the evening and were stunned to see what was happening and asked what they could do to help. I don't think these guys had ever eaten oatmeal before. Either that or they were under the impression that the lesbians might bite them if the portions were too small. My god, there was no way in hell I could have eaten the giant bowl they served us. Let's just say that the 8 servings that remained in the bowl made the best damn hand warmer ever!

Another example of love and support: The couple in front of us had a friend come down around 2:30 to relieve them. This sweet straight girl sat in a chair, in the rain, with only an umbrella for 2 hours. I overheard her talking on her cell phone to someone about how she could not believe this is what we had to go through just to get married.

3:00AM
Still pouring and now the wind has picked up. Tarps were being ripped open and shelters began failing. Some folks went to their cars to get dry. At this point - no one was going to be faulted for stepping out of line. Just take care of yourself however you need to.

There was a woman a few camps down from us - totally butch dyke from Sacramento. With a mouth of a truck driver (she reminded my of Susan Hawk on Survivor, but heavier and butcher) she was totally our comic relief. At one point around 4:00AM as a reporter was trying to interview a Texas couple, I heard her scream at the top of her lungs from under her shelter "If I hear one fuckin' straight person say that we're not committed I'm gonna fuckin' slap 'em!" - much laughter and applause. The reporter asked her if she could quote her. "You bet yer ass lady! Go ahead - Quote me!"

Staz and I were starting to seize up under the tarp so we got out and started moving around. It was actually warmer walking around but Staz sacrificed her dryness. Slowly her Pea Coat began to soak through.

5:00AM
Kelly and Hogan come back, showered and rested. The Engineer arrives with more supplies and Staz reluctantly relents to the cold and wetness. She's been there at City Hall for 20 hours straight. What an amazing friend. Not to mention that she and the Engineer had spent many many hours there only 2 days prior waiting for their license! The Engineer took her home and I crawled into Kelly's car for a little break from the wind.

About half an hour later my cell phone rings and it's Staz - apparently our new friends and camp neighbors Hillary and Anna are on the front page of the Chronicle. I ran down to Starbucks, got them two lattes and copy of the paper. They were blown away! We all did a little happy dance for them.

7:00AM
The sky is beginning to lighten and people are starting to stir out of their makeshift camps. People start showing up with huge urns of coffee and endless boxes of Krispy Kremes. I heard someone say to us "You all spent the night in the cold and the rain in order that ensure that no one ever has to do this again!" - I just about lost it.

8:00AM
We're told that they will being letting the first 100 couple inside in about 5 minutes. I call the house and tell the missus to get her ass down here NOW! Even though they wouldn't start processing people until 10:00 who knew if they would let her in later.

9:00AM
That is the goddamn longest 5 minutes I've ever experienced. We're still standing out in the cold and rain waiting - the endless waiting... The missus and the Engineer have arrived, and so has Oddgirl - always a witness, never a bride, sigh.

They finally start letting people in. We're on the steps, about 20 feet from the doors when the missus realizes that she doesn't have her ID or the checkbook. FUCK!! Can you imagine? All that we went though and suddenly we might not be able to go through with it because if a missing ID?!? Fuckity fuck fuck! The Oddgirl jumps in the car and faster than lightning goes back to the house, finds the goods and brings them back to us at City Hall. WHEW!

10:00AM
After snaking around the hidden depths of City Hall, we are in line and waiting for the County Clerks office to open and begin processing paperwork. We've now been at City Hall for over 24 hours. But we're inside. It's warm. There are bathrooms with hot water. All is right in the world.

They hand out numbers and we are couple #27. We were given blue application forms to fill out while we waited. Along with the ever informative booklet title "Your Future Together: health information you should know *Formerly Titled "If there are children in your future". Which provided quite a bit of entertaining reading while we waited.

Here's where I lose track of time...

In the County Clerks office is where they type up the info for the marriage license. We waited a long time. If we were #27, why has #50 already been processed? Apparently they couldn't find our paper work. Granted the place was pure chaos and these people had been processing thousands of applications on their three day weekend - god bless them - but I was ready to get married! Come on! Find it already! They did and of course there were two typos so they had to go back and correct it. Those folks were amazing for being there.

From the County Clerk we went to have the license "solemnized" (I like that word - has that sodomize ring to it... heh.) A volunteer led us into the rotunda and showed us the line to wait for an officiant. The Engineer and Oddgirl were there, The Big D made a surprise appearance. In what was a bit of a whirlwind blur we were led to the steps by a Deputy Marriage Commissioner - one of hundreds that had been sworn in to help out - and we began the ceremony. I completely forgot to give my camera to anyone so no pics - sorry.

Time kind of stopped then. I didn't think I was going to cry, but after everything we had gone through the night before - not to mention everything we've gone through together over the years to bring us to this place - how hard we fought for our rights, all the hard work everyone has done - it overwhelmed me. When she said "By the power vested in me by the State of California" I lost it.

When it was all over we had one more line to wait in - to get a copy of the license.

By this time inside city hall was complete packed. People are everywhere, witnesses, children, videographers. But the volunteers were running things like a well oiled machine. A lot of the volunteers had been married on Thurs and Friday - and they all came back to help out. Amazing.

We finally got our copy of the license and I couldn't believe we had actually done it. It was over. Time to celebrate! We quickly found Kelly and Hogan and their whole family and watched their ceremony. We couldn't find Jennie and Leah - they were probably 80 couples behind us - but they finally came out into the rotunda and asked the missus and I to witness for them. They had the same Deputy Comm. perform their ceremony. As I was signing their license I quipped to the missus, "Now this is the kind of thing you really don't want to fuck up" - Turns out the videographer was taping me - oops!

When we walked out the front doors there were hundreds and hundreds of people there and a loud cheer went up. I thought I would lose it again. Amazing. Simply amazing.

1:00PM
About 10 of us all went to brunch in the Castro. Afterwards, we headed back to the house, took a nap and a shower then headed to SFO to come home. Unfortunately our flight out of SFO was delayed 3 hours, (yup - more waiting... I guess we just hadn't waited long enough) but I didn't care - I just curled up on the seats at the gate and took a nap.

So now we're home. The missus has framed the license. I stare at it in disbelief. As of this writing, we are still legally married in the state of California. Who knows what lies ahead - many court battles I am sure. But we are so blessed to have been a part of this, to have the friends we have, and to witness history being made.

I thank each and every one of you for your warm wishes and your love and support. Staz and The Engineer - you two mean so much to us. I love you. My family. The volunteers and city employees. The Mayor and the City of San Francisco, the guys who brought the frickin' oatmeal. Rich for feeding our cats! You are all my heros.

I'd do it all over again tomorrow if I had to. Here's hoping no one ever has to again.

That was the worst camping trip EVER!

But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

So we did it. We flew up to SF at the crack of dawn on Sunday and 36 hours later we were official.

It was an incredible arduous journey - many stories to tell, but since I'm suffering from an extreme lack of sleep and will probably die of pneumonia in a month from spending the night in front of City Hall in the freezing cold and pouring rain - you're just going to have to wait for the full version. Just know that the amount of love and support from EVERYONE - Complete strangers who brought us cocoa and oatmeal at 4:00 in the morning, hot pizzas, the porta-johns and more Krispy Kremes than I really needed - whoever you are - thank you all!

The Missus (my WIFE!! WooHoo!) and I would like to send deepest thanks to the following people, without whom we never would have made it through the night:

The Engineer and Staz: The Operations Support Team -You guys are unbelievable. I can't thank you enough for everything you did for us! Even though you were married on Friday, you stayed with us side by side for 36 hours under the most miserable of conditions. We're so blessed. Jesuz, I'm welling up just thinking about it. You both are our heroes.

The Oddgirl: Witness Extraordinaire
The Big D: Witness Extraordinaire

Our Soggy Mates:
Jennie & Leah
Kelly & Hogan
Anna & Hillary (Who made the front page of the Chron! Word.)

WE DID IT!

I'll try and post pics with commentary later today.

UPDATE:
Here are the pics: SF Wedding - Feb. 15 and 16, 2004

{ed note: I am a complete sleep deprived idiot. While trying to combine the photo post with this one I somewhow deleted them both - including all 23 of your wonderful heartwarming comments. Comments 1-23 have been reposted by me this evening.}

I Heart TGImp3F

In honor of Valentines Day - I invite you to sample my Ooey Gooey Rich and Chewy Love Mix:

Tupelo Honey - Van Morrison
What Better Said - k.d.lang
Two of Us - Aimee Mann
The Luckiest - Ben Folds
Hallelujah, I Love Her So - Ray Charles
If I Had $1000000 - Bare Naked Ladies
Hey Boy , Hey Girl (With Keely Smith) - Louis Prima
Hungry For Love - Patsy Cline
Ice Cream - Sarah McLachlan
I Want A Little Sugar In My Bowl - Nina Simone
She Makes Me Feel So Good - Lyle Lovett
Crash - Dave Matthews Band
Damn, I Wish I was Your Lover - Sophie B. Hawkins
Your Body Is A Wonderland - John Mayer
Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
Amado Mio - Pink Martini

If you're looking for a something a little racier to get your (or her) motor running... try Melissa Ferrick's Drive (not work safe - think of it as audio p0rn)

FYI: links will expire COB Monday - Feb. 16, 2004

Comment Spam

I've been getting a wee bit of comment spam. Nothing major, just a minor irritant. And it's always left on the old archives. I consider myself lucky compared to some people I know who've been slammed.

I'll probably install MT Blacklist this weekend, but in the meantime, I've just been manually deleting the crap as it comes in. When this one showed up in my inbox I almost deleted it based solely on the email and URL - but then I actually read it... It's not spam, it's a friggin comment! Calling my an ugly American. Harumph. Me thinks this person didn't read what I wrote very carefully - but I tell ya, that line about the purse? Priceless...

Distractions

Can't stop singing... "Look at the monkey, funny monkey, little red monkey..."

Play MooseBall

Play Squirrel Run - time to lay off the Mountain Dew.

For my fellow charter members of the Easily Amused Club: On and Off ... I could play with this for hours.
via presurfer

Just in time for Easter: Jesus Dress Up *note does not work with mozilla browsers
via Staz!

Uhm, maybe I'll look for another spot... Signs of Life a great collection of signs.

And finally... My Mother is Insane - Oh yeah buddy, I'd say she has a few "issues" - Where's the bathroom again? I get itchy just looking at these pics...

Beep

Hi, you've reached the Friday Fishwrap. Sorry noone is available to answer your call for links at the moment, but leave a message after the tone...

New photo's are up over at the HouseLog.

TGImp3F

Hey it's Friday - What's that on your shoulder? It's my head.

I can't remember why this song always reminds me of Mopsa circa 1985 riding around the frozen wasteland known as Marquette, Michigan in a banged up brown diesel Rabbit with a 6 pack - but it does.

What's Wrong with Me? - X

On My Absence**

Dear Friends, Clients, and Family:

I am writing to let you know that my contact with you will be suspended until further notice. You are no doubt aware that I am currently undertaking a rather large renovation project, which has taken up a considerable amount of my time lately, but there's been a new development. In light of the work that needs to be done I've decided to swallow my pride and hire a contractor to assist me with the work. While she came highly recommended, I've decided it's in my best interest to supervise her at all times. I'm sure you understand.

Take care,

MJ

**I'd love to take credit for this but I can't. The most witty and brilliant Ms. Natalie Yates of the Pickle Juice variety posted it this morning. Made my frickin' day. Now if you'll excuse me - I'm off to uh.. supervise.

Padded Room with a View

See friends - I'm losing my mind. And this blog right hair will be the evidence used to gain power of attorney over my affairs. You may be called upon. You are all witnesses. Feel free to say "Yeah, I saw it coming - she's definitely nuts. But she had some great links! I'll miss that."

Blogs to Riches
Please don't buy this book (not that I thought any of you actually would...) Let me save you the $47.00 Here's how to take your blog to riches... Write a stupid book about making money off your blog and then sell it to poor saps online for $47.00 - dollars to donuts that's in chapter 7 somewhere.
via presurfer

AHA! At last! The secret to the elusive Club 33 in Disneyland!

I laughed - oh how I laughed! Click here I know, I hate "click here" links too but have some faith in me... just put your beverage down first. Trust me on that.
via solonor see? two links in two days - can you feel the love?

More office fun:
"This is kind of dumb, but fun. While sitting in your chair, lift your right foot slightly off the ground and move it in clockwise circles. Now draw the numeral “6” in the air with your right hand. Your foot will involuntarily reverse direction. "
via gamersnook side note: also works with your left foot and left hand - in case you were wondering - probably not, but anyway... just so you know.

You'll need a copy of the book for these:
The Di Vinci Code: Game One
The Di Vinci Code: Game Two

Speaking of Di Vinci: Fun with Mona

Waste the afternoon by playing some cool games at Sporkle Registration required BS info accepted.

Gay Marriage? No no no! Mars? YES!

The missus and I just had a hilarious exchange (as is the secret to any successful marriage - legal or otherwise blah ditty blah blah blah)

ANYwho.. So we were cracking up over how fucking ridiculous the whole debate over gay marriage is v. the shrub advocating a manned mars mission (send the gays!) and... nevermind... I can't translate. It was fucking funny - trust me. I'm still dying laughing!

A Pickled Perspective

Natalie (an OUT heterosexual - gasp!) has written a great post on the issue of gay marriage.

Behold the power of the missing apostrophe!

Just in case you thought I was kidding yesterday, I thought I would share what happens when Google indexes you for a hot topic... I've not yet received a threatening letter from my host, nor has Miss J's right mammary gland sent me a Cease & Desist letter - but I can't wait for today's numbers to post after Solonor was kind enough to take care of the apostrophe issue for me.

Learn from this my friends.

Tasty Nuggets

Occasionally there are hitches in life that initially piss you off but turn out to be pleasant surprises - I need to remember that.

Take today... I was trying to find a song that the missus wanted and somehow (I have no idea how it happened) iTunes imported about 120 totally random songs - from different folders - honestly it's bizarre.

Now, I'm a little anal about my iTunes. I like things semi organized, so my immediate reaction was 'goddamn it, now I have to go through and delete all that stuff' ... but in the process I stumbled upon a song that I've not heard in a while - it's not on any active playlist but it's one that I love to idlly diddle around with on the guitar. Not quite a TGImp3 tune, but I thought I would share anyway because it's great and if you don't have this tune yet - you should.

Angel from Montgomery - John Prine & Bonnie Raitt

Holy Moly!

Get your Maine out of my FAQS! My sidebar feels violated...
fixed

I Get Around

I have no idea what this says about me except that perhaps I am subconsciously avoiding two (okay maybe 3) conspicuously contiguous sections of this great land of ours ...

create your own visited states map

What have I done for me lately?

I now rank second on Google for janets boob (for the apostrophe impaired like myself...)

Should I be proud or wallow in shame?

Tuesday Timewasters

More Penguin Fun!
A seriously souped up version of smack the penguin
Check it:

And still more penguin fun! (stop that incessant music!)

Truth in Advertising.
Now we all know I'm a serious MacHead. But I will say I found this very interesting... A little exposé of the iTunes/Pepsi ad that ran on Sunday during the game.
I fought the law and the law won. Hmm. Things that make you go Hmm.

Speaking of Super Bowl ads - no wonder I couldn't load shardsofglass.com... it's shardsoglass.com

And now - your Tuesday Timewaster PenTrix Let the pen (guin?) flinging begin!

Flex - Woof - Ouch!

New pics are up over at the House Blog. We kicked ass this past week.

Now That's [janets boob] Football!

So that was quite a game [janets boob]. The first 27 minutes I was beginning to think nothing exciting [janets boob] would ever happen, and we'd have a snooze fest on our hands. Then whammo! [janets boob] Suddenly both teams discovered that they could actually throw the ball!

Even the halftime show [janets boob] left a bit to be desired [janets boob]. I don't care what anyone thinks [janets boob] Kid Rock is the shit [janets boob].

I have yet to find out [janets boob] what that whole streaking thing was about [janets boob]. The picture on Yahoo doesn't show what was written on his [janets boob] chest.

As for the commercials, the only one that I really liked was the Clydesdale Donkey. Reminded me of my sweet [janets boob] Ladybug (yes, I still want a Honkey Donkey!)

By the fourth quarter [janets boob] I was totally on the edge of my seat [janets boob] thrilled that this was the most exciting [janets boob] or at least close [janets boob] Super Bowl I'd seen [janets boob] in a long time.

As I predicted [janets boob] the Pats won, though they didn't beat the spread [janets boob]. Ha! Bonus - My chili was [janets boob] the best I've made to date. Ground turkey isn't half bad. Watch out Lady - I'm gonna give you a run for your money!

Re Survivor [janets boob]: Man, they dug up all the obnoxious ones [janets boob] didn't they? Not too surprised that Tina [janets boob] was the first voted off. And you'd think one of those friggin' ego maniacs would have figured out [janets boob] how to build a damn fire. Richard Hatch [janets boob] is still an ass. Put some clothes on your nasty white ass. Ooh, you nasty boy [janets boob].

I know there's something [janets boob] I'm forgetting to mention... It'll [janets boob] come to me...

Souper Sunday!

Are you ready for some football?! I know you betting folks out there like to know who I'm picking so that you can go with the other team. Because I care - I'm taking the Cats with 7 points. This of course means that the Pats will win by at least 24 points. I'm here to help.

For those of you who need some more basic help... Here's a good primer on the game:

Adam Felbers Non-Fan's Guide to Super Bowl XXXVIII
via swirlspice

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the store so I can begin making the annual pot of "Up North Chili" only this year I'm trying it with ground turkey instead of ground beef. I have my doubts...

Go Cats! er... Pats! Aw, hell - just pass me a beer will ya?!