July 23, 2004
TGImp3F
Hey! It's Friday - and I am outta here!
I'm heading back to my Shangri La in Michigan (Up North for you Michiganders) for a few weeks to spend some quality time with good friends and family (read: eating, drinking, laughing, playing, relaxing and taking in the clean fresh air.) See you sometime in August!
Where the Blacktop Ends - Keith Urban
July 22, 2004
My Fucked Up Kat Krazy Neighbors
or my annual PSA:
SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR FRICKIN' ANIMALS!
And you all thought I was the crazy cat lady...
I'm so pissed off I could spit nails. Okay not pissed off, but ... well, yeah okay pissed OFF.
As I was driving home tonight I turned the corner and right there in my neighbors driveway is Star, their female cat.. and TWO MORE F'N KITTENS! They couldn't be more than 7 weeks old.
For those of you new to the class The Missus and I care for a feral (wild) colony of 32 cats that we have trapped, altered and released. We have 7 cats that we consider ourselves to be medically responsible for, 6 of which were feral kittens that we rescued from our backyard, AND we've trapped and adopted out 14 kittens in the last 2 years... That's at least 51 cats... 51 CATS!!
And they all stem from this one family. Many of them are dead now because they have been hit by cars, eaten by coyotes, or trapped and killed by Animal Control.
The problem is my neighbors. They do not spay and neuter their cats. Their cats make kittens. They do not find homes for these kittens... They just let them go. Where do they end up? Vanished (read: eaten) or dead in the street or AT MY FUCKING HOUSE! They just had two other kittens about 4 months ago who are now roaming the neighborhood (including our back yard) and they are just waiting to be some coyotes dinner or get hit by a car.
I am at my wits end. Talking with these people goes nowhere. Their explanation is a simple shrug and just that their daughter LOVES kittens. Awww, well, isn't that just precious. What they don't seem to get no matter what we say is that kittens GROW UP!
We've tried trapping their cats but can't catch the female. We trapped and fixed 2 of their males a few years ago and not surprisingly enough, they never noticed. What happened to them? Oh, one got hit by a car. And they never noticed. We had to tell them about it 5 weeks after it happened. The other male joined the feral colony.
At least the colony isn't breeding any more thanks to me and The Missus and the wonderful folks who run the free feral spay and neuter program at Animal Samaritans (the local SPCA). We've worked with the organization to trap the entire colony and get them all fixed. ::pats back:: That's all fine and good if only my neighbors would stop making kittens!
They are so irresponsible it just breaks my heart!!
I don't know if reporting them would do any good (for the animals). I have zero faith or trust in P.S./Riverside Co. Animal Control. They are not known for their humanity towards animals. They are a "kill first, ask questions later" facility. But I fear they are our only recourse in trying to get this family to understand. I really like my neighbors. They are nice people at heart but they have NO common sense when it comes to animals.
Fuck. Two more kittens. I just can't deal with this anymore. I really can't.
/ rant
Der Haus Lager
A very quick update today on Ye Olde Houselog.
July 20, 2004
She baked bread! Is there no mercy?!
Read Martha Stewart's heart wrenching letter to the judge. My god, what this woman has done for the little people! Not to mention "...the intense suffering that has accompanied every single moment of the past two and a half years."
*@&$ @#&^%$! Hilarious out takes from Winnebago Man.
Here's a great invention if you want to keep others from using you coffee mug. Only problem is I know I'd lose that key in a week and then the damn things worthless.
How to spot a rich guy.
via my father in-law
Big Money! Big Money! Play Whammy!
This Land is MY Land! Bush v. Kerry flasharoonie.
via the missus
The Deep Fried Penguin Posse Keep your penguins together and watch out for the ninja...
July 19, 2004
Sssssizzler
114ºF today. (44ºC to you metric people)
"All around people looking half dead, walking on the sidewalk hotter than a matchhead..."
Name that tune.
The Governator Strikes Again
Schwarzenegger Calls Budget Opponents 'Girlie Men'.
Nice.
That has to be one of the cheapest school yard bully taunts I've heard in a while. Not to mention misogynistic and homophobic. Why don't you kick sand in their face while you're at it Arnie?
Or wait, here's a thought... why don't you actually get a budget passed?
Yeah, that's the ticket.
Like, Oh My God.
"The shiny thing - grab the shiny thing." Thank god this woman has a vehicle equipped with BlondeStar™!
via the missus
390 Things to Do Before You Die.
via presurfer
Coffee and Chrome: Have a Seat, a Lileks collection of restaurant postcards.
Miss Manners on The Key to Discreet Gossiping. Word.
Puppets in the Park: The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe
A motherlode of Grateful Dead bootlegs. All mp3. The directory numbers are the show dates.
From the "Things that make you go Hmm" files...
Here's a story that should send chills down your spine. Terror in the Skies, Again?". It's being discussed in depth on a few of the pundit blogs. From what I've read so far, the story checks out. Certain details were confirmed by one Dave Adams at the Federal Air Marshals Service.
In Other News: The Missus returns today. WooHoo! Thank god, because I really should not be left alone without adult supervision for more than a few hours. I turn into a complete slug and get absolutely nothing accomplished. The highlights of my weekend include: all of "I Love the 90's", followed by MTV's Boiling Points marathon. And then to make matters worse, I was compelled to counter the effects of an incredibly disturbing episode of Six Feet Under by watching Chad Lowe wearing a really bad wig in "Take Me Home: The John Denver Story" on CMT last night. I actually stayed up to watch the end. Far out.
July 16, 2004
TGImp3F - Requests and Dedications
First, the dedication. Today is my mom's birthday! Everyone say "Happy Birthday Mom!"
I wish I could be there with you today, but I'll see you next week when we'll celebrate properly. Today is your day, so turn it up and enjoy! I love you!
The Ocean (Live) - Led Zeppelin
And now the request portion of the show. Ya'all picked some good ones. And I threw in a couple extras just to round out the list. Happy friday and have a GREAT weekend!
note: all mp3 links will expire 7 days after posting
July 15, 2004
Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'
The Missus is off playing in the woods of Wisconsin so I'm left here to my own devices. One of the many joys of having the house to myself is that I get to play my "guilty pleasure" music REALLY LOUD.
What kind of guilty pleasure music MJ? Well, I'm not ashamed to admit it, I'm in the throws of a circa 1976 flashback and I'm LOVING IT!
Styx
ELO
Boston
Three Dog Night
Super Tramp
Journey
REO Speedwagon
To my younger readers, please don't say "Who?!" I don't want to hear about how you weren't even born yet...
You better watch out or I might inflict some of it on you tomorrow! Mmmuuhahah!
I heard it from a friend who, heard it from friend who, heard from another you've been messing around...
... Oh yeah.
Last Chance: Summer Burn
Last chance to sign up for a copy of the Friday Fishwrap Summer Burn 2004 CD Swap.
Drop me an email at: mj[at]fridayfishwrap[dot]com by the end of the day.
I've seen Fire and I've seen Rain
Today's headline should read: "Rain God Appeases Fire God" or "The Seventh Circle of Hell Officially Opens!"
The fire is at 70% containment, which is right about where our humidity is... 70%. Ugh. It was so oppressive yesterday I could barely move. I had that song "I wish it would rain" playing in my head all day long.
Then around 8:30 the skies finally gave way and rain, glorious rain, fell from heaven. I stood out by the pool like a little kid and got soaked. It felt GREAT! The mood was celebratory, you could almost hear a cheer go up when the drops began to fall. My neighbors even set off some fireworks. Not to mention that this town sure needed a bath...
So what's on tap for the rest of the week? Step into my sauna...
Eclectomania
Is anyone else sick of Ken? Okay buddy, you're smart, we get it. Now how about you use some of that money to buy a personality and a life to go along with your over sized cranium...
Babelize it! Back in the old days when I lived in a cosmopolitan city and lead the glamourous dot.com lifestyle my friends and I used to play this game where we would write an email and run it through various translators. Por example:
"Do you want to meet for a drink after work?"
Babelized via various languages comes back as...
"It appreciates to come after the drink the contact for a work?"
But we would have to do it manually, in which case we stuck mostly to Portuguese... Here's a page that does all the work for you, Lost in Translation
Speaking of translation... I can't get it to work. But maybe youse can. Da Ali G. Translata
Strange yet captivating... TAS 1000. Music made from answering machine messages. They only have three mp3s up. I've Been Delayed is my fav.
Now here's a birthday gift idea for the lesbian who has everything Dyke Dolls (nice logo...)
Vendetta and Charlotte are Making Fiends
I've seen a few versions of this game but was always too lazy to play. Here's a nice collection of results from the Amazon.com Knee Jerk Contrarian Game
When I Am an Old Woman, I shall: get drunk and do doughnuts in the school parking lot.
Doh! Headbanger! Trampoline Trickz
July 13, 2004
Speaking of the End Times
I think I just heard Rick Santorum say that gays eat babies but I can't be sure. I wish I had Tivo!
Fire Update
As I sat here and the room grew suddenly dark, I decided to go out an investigate. Please forgive the horrible stitching job but you get the idea...
Where there's smoke...
update: As if this fire thing weren't enough - we just had a flippin' earthquake! It's the end times!
This Old House
Ze houselog has been updated. Sorry it took so long!
July 12, 2004
Fire on the Mountain
I noticed a small fire burning on the other side of the mountain this morning (turns out it's in the Snow Creek/Cabazon area). All day long the tankers have been buzzing over the house. It's now filled the North End with smoke that is both beautiful and eerie.
Weekend Report
The heat is on folks. The temps have been creeping up past 110º during the day (we're supposed to hit 114º today) and the nights have been hot and sticky with lows in the high 70s and 80's. We gotten by so far this summer with just the swamp cooler but now old swampy is struggling to keep the house under 90º so we're just going to have to pony up the cash and pay for the cool air.
Friday Night: After stopping by Itchyrae's and sampling one of his soon to be patented Cucumber Martini's (YUM!) I headed home for a quiet night of air conditioned bliss and a netflix movie. We watched 9 Dead Gay Guys. Funnier than I thought it would be.
Saturday: The house was abuzz with activity as we prepared to host The Chicago Caper. This is the third Murder Mystery we've hosted and every party is totally different and always a riot. It's over the top campy and hokey and lots of fun. The Missus (Torchy) did all the casting and arranging,while I (Scoop) was in charge of cooking and beverages. By 7:00 we had our game faces on and the first guests arrived. Almost everyone showed up in costume, but first prize has to go to MJS, Ernie "Bet A Million" G. Ambler the colorful millionaire and to Itchyrae, Billy "The Kid" Thrower star pitcher for the Stock Kings.
The game went smoothly once we all settled into character. So smoothly in fact that we almost didn't eat because someone (that would be me) was a little too involved and forgot to turn the oven on and put the lasagna in... Thankfully, I realized what I had done and we ended up eating during the final round 4 instead of round 3. The only person to guess the murderer was actually the murderer (even though this person didn't know they were the murderer). I had such a blast. Thanks to everyone for making it a great evening!
Can youse spot the killah? Da Usual Suspects
Sunday was hangover healing (when will I ever learn not to drink vodka and also enjoy red wine with dinner? Stupid, stupid ass) and cleanup day. It was hottest day by far and I couldn't even bring myself to jump in the pool. In between eating whatever I could get my hands on, playing and obsessing The Retail Alphabet Game (via natalie) and washing a dish or two here and there, I mostly just laid in bed complaining.
And now it's back to work. I promise to get a houselog update published this week. We're sooo close to being finished I can almost $mell it.
July 11, 2004
7/11
PSA: Don't forget that today is July 11th, commonly abbreviated as 7/11, ergo...
"7-Eleven will celebrate its 77th anniversary this Sunday, July 11, 2004, by offering free 7.11-ounce Slurpee beverages, one per customer, at participating stores nationwide."
July 09, 2004
TGImp3F
Hey it's Friday! And Solly's gone and left the Ink Well in the incapable hands of a merry band of misfits. We'll party just like Bubba does, we'll do the old man proud!
Gypsies in the Palace - Jimmy Buffett
July 08, 2004
I gots the mad spamz yo
Pardon me while I bitch for a moment.
My spam is so bad.. How bad is it MJ?
Well, I just check my deleted box (thank god for filters) and since June 2nd, 2004 (a mere 36 days ago) when I dumped everything from my mail program, I have exactly 3,934 pieces of NEW junk assed crap. That's over 100 spams a day. That number doesn't even include the blog comment spam which I have yet to figure out a way to filter out - let's guestimate that at about another 400 pieces of crap junking up my inbox. And here I get so excited when I here the new mail sound just to be shot down by another
Fwd: V|cod.|n ' V@1|um < X/A/NAX + V1AgR@ +S+oma
That is so wrong. They can all go to hell.
/ rant
Crap and Fishsticks
Giving a plug to a new found blog that you might not have discovered buried over in the blogroll: Crap and Fishsticks.
Read. Laugh. Repeat as needed.
Four Day Weeks
Or early Alzheimer's? Is it Thursday? Wednesday? Friday? I'm so confusseled!
Cool doodle drawing and it's 10 feet tall!
Pikea Weebl and Bob go to Ikea. I laugh because I've been trapped in the IKEA "some assembly required" alternate universe for a week now.
Naughty: Now where the hell would this sweater be appropriate? Not only that, but I'd think it would defeat the whole point of wearing a sweater... not safe for work, unless your boss lets you look at boobs
Top Ten Celebrity Nip Slips again, boobage, not safe for work
Cat Butt Magnets. Why? Because cats are so very proud of them.
Simple little timewaster game: Bubbles
Very cool: Slickball. One word of caution - for some reason when I loaded this game it reset the volume level to REALLY LOUD... twice.
From the OH MY GOD files: Single Use Automatic Circumcision Device
July 06, 2004
BBQ Madness and The King of Beers
Saturday was a putter day. Went grocery shopping, got the car washed, lounged poolside and then in the evening we headed to a show opening at the gallery. We skipped the annual Mod Squad BBQ, but I heard it was packed (110 people!). After the show, we ended up at a relatively new place in town called N.O.W. ("Never on Wednesdays" - in the summer they are also closed on Thursdays, so I've taken to calling it N.O.T. N.O.W.) There's a really nice covered patio for drinks and dining so we enjoyed the warm night with some new and old friends.
Sunday was another day of rest and relaxation. Didn't do much of anything. More pool lounging. After breifly chatting over the fence, my neighbor climbed on over (we're friendly that way) and we hung out having a few beers, celebrating our gluttonous American lifestyle. All weekend we were trying to figure out what to do for the 4th. No one had really made any plans. Should we host something at our place? The everwise Missus suggested that we just wait and something will happen. Sure enough by 1:00 we had 3 different BBQ's to pick from.
We headed to P and L's place around 4:00. Food, music and company was excellent as always. But in a strange "when worlds collide" moment, the name of a fellow local blogger came up over dinner when discussing eBay auctions and mid-century collectibles. My companions at the table asked how I knew him. Well, I only know him from his blog(s), we've never met in person yet, but the missus and I have exchanged occasional emails with him for a few years. I got the impression that all but one of these folks did not know about his blog, and I'm certain that most of them don't know about this here Fishwrap. The other guy didn't mention the blog and neither did I - instead I did a dance of trying to explain how I knew so much but had never actually met the man. I played up the eBay angle even though I've never bought anything from him, and in turn I suspect I only added to the intrigue...
After dinner it was off to watch the fireworks from the roof top of a friends building. Somehow - and I know this will surprise most of my readers - I managed to get drunker than a skunk. There's something about drinking beer all day long and sitting in the dark on a roof watching pretty sparkly lights... Later in the evening when I was involved in a very serious conversation about ... something... the missus gave me "the look" and it was obviously time to go home. The thing is when I get that drunk, I'm actually HILARIOUS (in my head). I amuse myself to no end. The entire 5 minute ride home I was laughing uncontrollably at - the windshield. It was so BIG! In my head I had this whole running monolog about driving a miniature bus that looked like a fish bowl and we were the happy fish inside the bus. All that came out in between my gasping for air laughter was "Little ... BUS!" "FishBOWL!" Bwaaahhahah!
The missus was only slightly amused. God bless her.
Yesterday, what I like to call Sunday2, and this might surprise you as well, I was not feeling very well... We had made plans with our neighbors to do some grilling either here or next door so the whole day I was just PRAYING that they would step up to the plate and host at their place. There was no way I was going to be able to get my shit together enough to entertain. Thankfully, that's exactly what happened. Another relaxing evening with yummy grilled food and warm breezes and much laughter and good cheer. A great weekend indeed.
And now it's a Tuesday that feels like a Monday but before I know it, will be Friday. Yay!
In other news, I've completed my Summer Burn 2004 CD and will be shipping a copy to the U.K. and another to Greece today. Any readers want to do a Fishwrap Swap? I'll send you a copy, but unlike last summers Friday Fishwrap Free For All, you will have to make me a CD too!
Drop me an email: mj[at]fridayfishwrap[dot]com
July 02, 2004
TGImp3F
Hey! It's Friday! And I can run to the store an' get some charcoal, buy a tiki torch an' fire up the grill. The whole town wants to know when I'm gonna grow up, but you know I never will...
Have a fun and SAFE holiday weekend folks!
Loco - David Lee Murphy
[note: all mp3 links expire 7 days after posting]
